Hal Quote #156

Quote from Hal in New Neighbors

Police Officer: We've had a report that you've been seen prowling in the neighbors' yards and peeking in their windows.
Malcolm: What?
Lois: So you've decided to become a Peeping Tom? A Peeping Tom?!
Malcolm: But I didn't do it. Why would I want to look in anybody's windows? Have you seen the people in this neighborhood?
Hal: Peeping isn't about looks, son. It's about the thrill and exhilaration of observing someone without their knowledge.

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 ‘New Neighbors’ Quotes

Quote from Reese

Reese: I think the word everyone is tiptoeing around is "feud."
Hal: That's a bit drastic, Reese.
Reese: No, Dad, a feud is just what this family needs. Having a common enemy will hone our skills and unite us in a brotherhood of blood.

Quote from Spangler

Spangler: No! No! No! Do you think Colonel North is going to be impressed by such a sloppy group of cadets? Now, we are going to do this and keep doing it until you get it right! All right, now, once more. With feeling. And...
Cadets: [sing] Candy Man Hey Candy Man Who can take a sunrise Who can take a sunrise Sprinkle it with dew Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Cover it with choc'late and a miracle or two Candy Man Candy Man Oh, the Candy Man can The Candy Man can The Candy Man can 'Cause he mixes it with love And makes the world taste good Oh, oh, oh The Candy Man makes Everything he bakes Satisfying and delicious Do-do-do-do-do-do... Talk about your childhood wishes
Spangler: You can even eat the dishes. [cadets harmonize]

Quote from Dewey

Malcolm: [to camera] This has been going on for days. I can't believe everybody fell for Josh's stupid lie. Maybe if I just ignore it for a while, it'll go away. People have short memories, right?
Dewey: [jumps rope and sings] Late at night, when you're sleeping That's when Malcolm Comes a-peeping You better watch out You better beware Or Malcolm will see your underwear.
Malcolm: What are you doing? Where did you learn that?
Dewey: At school. [jumps rope and sings] One, two, three, four Malcolm's at your bedroom door Five, six, seven...

 Hal Quotes

Quote from Blackout

Hal: I have Kobe beef.
Reese: No way.
Hal: Yes!
Reese: That's like $60 an ounce.
Hal: I know. I won it in a Minesweeper tournament at work. Years of practicing eight hours a day has finally paid off.

Quote from Malcolm Babysits

Hal: Hi, son. Didn't hear you drive up.
Malcolm: I decided to walk.
Hal: So, how's the job going?
Malcolm: They were jerks, so I quit.
Hal: Well, that's pretty much what work is. Welcome to the club.

Quote from Buseys Run Away

Lois: Why are you pacing?
Hal: Let me ask you something, Lois. What would you do if, hypothetically, through a series of unforeseeable circumstances, you found yourself commanding an army of benevolent strongmen?
Lois: What?
Hal: Picture it. A dozen guys, any one of them can rip a horse in half, willing to follow your every command. Well, you'd have to do something really great with that. Something noble and unselfish, but not too expensive. And we are not even taking into account that I could easily be led to the dark side. Lois, you have to promise me, if you ever see me holding a cat and laughing maniacally over a globe, you need to let me know.