Lois Quote #682

Quote from Lois in Lois Strikes Back

Malcolm: There you are. You took off so fast from school, we didn't get a chance to talk about what happened to Diane.
Lois: I'm a very busy woman, Malcolm. It isn't easy running this household.
Malcolm: I can imagine cooking, shopping... cutting the heads off of dolls.
Lois: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Malcolm: Come on, Mom, it's pretty obvious what's going on here, and I think it's sick! Did you see Diane's reaction?
Lois: No, I didn't... Was she crying?
Malcolm: She had to be wrapped in a blanket and carried to the school nurse's office.
Lois: Terrible, just terrible. There's a salad in the fridge and you boys can make yourselves sloppy Joe's whenever you're hungry. I've got some errands to run.
Malcolm: Oh, "errands," right? I know what you're up to, Mom.
Lois: Oh, yes, Malcolm, you've caught me. I've got to return an overdue video, go to the cleaners, and pick up milk and cereal for the morning. Guilty as charged.
Malcolm: Oh, nice try. Now, I want you to look me in the eye and- [Lois closes the bathroom door] Mom, I know you're behind all this, and sooner or later you're going to have to talk to me.
Lois: [o.s.] For God's sake, Malcolm, can't I have a moment's rest?
Malcolm: No, you can't! Tell me, did it feel good to cut through Elmo's neck? Did it?! Mom? Mom? [opens door to find Lois gone and the window open]

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 ‘Lois Strikes Back’ Quotes

Quote from Hal

Malcolm: Dad, you've got to do something. Mom has been stalking those girls who humiliated Reese like some kind of vigilante.
Hal: What? Are you sure about this?
Malcolm: Yes. She's nailed two of them so far, and she just climbed out of the bathroom window to go get the third.
Hal: This sounds like a lot of supposition, Malcolm. I mean, it would be a different story if you had hard evidence or an eyewitness.
Malcolm: I saw her at school today. She was there when these butchered dolls' heads rolled out of one of the girls' lockers.
Hal: And what exactly do you mean when you say you were "there"?
Malcolm: Dad, stop it. Don't you care?
Hal: Of course, I care, but I think what we need right now is caution and prudence. A proactive wait-and-see... if you will.
Malcolm: So you're not going to do anything?
Hal: Listen, when your mother gets like this, we need to vigilantly keep abreast of all the developments in a fully-engaged yet cautiously-detached...
Malcolm: Oh, forget it if you're not going to help me, then I'll just stop her myself, and you can stay here and play your ridiculous little game.
Hal: Good.

Quote from Reese

Lois: So, this is pretty exciting, Reese. When did you meet this girl?
Reese: I haven't actually met her. Her cousin goes to school with me, and Cindy saw me at the dance last week and thought I was hot.
Lois: Oh, well, I don't blame her. I mean, forgetting I'm your mother for a minute, if I saw you walking down the street, I would think, there is one hot guy.
Dewey: Yeesh.
Reese: Cindy and I talked on the phone almost every night last week, and we totally have the same sense of humor. She said she saw me put the plastic dog poop in the punch bowl at the school dance, and we both agreed that the real stuff would have been funnier.
Lois: You put plastic poop in the punch bowl?!
Reese: Once again, you completely miss the point.

Quote from Lois

Lois: I need to talk to you.
Reese: Not now.
Lois: Please, I need to tell you something. I've been a terrible mother.
Reese: It's okay, Mom. I've known that for a long time.
Lois: No, you don't understand. When those girls humiliated you, instead of trying to comfort you and help you deal with your feelings, I just got caught up in my own anger and went on a rampage.
Reese: What?
Lois: All I was worried about was making them pay, and they did. But what disturbs me is how much I enjoyed crushing those three girls and watching them suffer. I tapped into some dark, ugly place inside of me. I was acting like... you. [scoffs] Oh, God, who am I kidding? I wasn't acting like you. I am you. [sobs] There's this horrible thing that's part of us that makes it seem okay to do really scary stuff. I must have gotten it from Grandma, and I passed it on to you, sweetie. And all I can say is I'm sorry. I'm deeply, deeply sorry.