Reese Quote #702

Quote from Reese in Motivational Speaker

Lois: Good morning, Malcolm. There's money on the counter for your yearbook.
Malcolm: I don't want to buy a yearbook. I don't want anything that will remind me I ever went to that stupid school.
Reese: How can you say that? Being part of a group is important. Don't you care about loyalty? I think loyalty is the most important thing there is.
Lois: Well, I'm glad at least one of my sons knows something about that.
[Reese sees the mail man walking down the drive:]
Reese: [shouts through the window] Hey! What are you doing here?! This isn't your house! You don't live here! We live here! This is our house! What do you want?! Huh?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?!


 ‘Motivational Speaker’ Quotes

Quote from Reese

Malcolm: Reese, where have you been all night?
Reese: I started chasing these dogs, and it turned out they were really cool. So we went to the park, and then we found a tennis ball. And I took it from Toffee, and then Toffee took it from me and gave it to Rusty. And then we drank some water. And then we turned over some trash cans. Then Lucky did this hilarious thing where he rubs his butt on the ground. I can't do it. So then we chased this cat that was all like, "Agh!" Stupid cat. Then we stopped at the 7-Eleven, and I went inside and had a Coke while they had some burritos out of the Dumpster. Spike ate his twice.
Malcolm: Wait a minute. You spent the night in a dog pack?
Reese: Yeah. So then there were these squirrels who were like, "We're up in a tree, you'll never get us."
Malcolm: You're talking about them like they're friends. They're just animals.
Reese: Well, I'm sorry that we're not like your friends, sitting around all intellectual, discussing multiplication.
Malcolm: You can't get into bed like that. You stink.
Reese: Hey, I got checked out pretty thoroughly in that department, and I didn't hear any complaints.

Quote from Hal

Hal: A motivation seminar. For the whole weekend! Can you believe this? Like I need motivation.
Lois: And they just told you about it today?
Hal: They claim it was in some "memo" they sent me three months ago. So now, suddenly my job includes weekend seminars and memo-reading.
Lois: Can they really force you to go?
Hal: Lois, they can make you do anything. Once you sign up for a job in this country, you give away the whole kit and kaboodle. Our weekends, our house, our kids... we don't own any of it.
Lois: Okay, everybody, dinner.
Hal: This is all just an exercise to remind the little man who's boss. They're just trying to motivate me to keep me in my place, to kill any dreams I might have of ever digging my way out... Oh, my God, it starts at 9:00?

 Reese Quotes

Quote from Baby: Part 2

Fran: When your milk duct is blocked, it's called mastitis. It's important that you let your baby suck the obstruction out of the breast, and don't be alarmed if the baby then vomits up a cottage cheese-type substance. Now, join me over here...
Dewey: Like I needed another reason to hate cottage cheese.
Reese: I've been kind of zoning in and out here, but did she just say milk comes out of those things?
Malcolm: Reese, that's what they're for.
Reese: My God! Women are the cows of people!

Quote from Krelboyne Picnic

Lois: I don't understand why you don't want to go to this picnic, Malcolm. I think it sounds like fun.
Hal: Yeah, sitting on the grass, eating barbecue.
Malcolm: It's Krelboyne. It's not going to be on the grass because half the class is allergic. And don't expect any meat either, because they all voted not to serve anything that ever had a mother.
Dewey: Cousin Nancy doesn't have a mother.
Lois: That's right. She has two daddies.
Reese: Oh, man, two guys as your parents? That house has got to be a dude's paradise.