Malcolm: Check it out. This is my homework. I've spent every night this year cramming my skull full of integral calculus and conversational Latin. I just needed one class that wasn't going to kill me. And then I saw it Music Appreciation. It's an actual class. All I have to do is listen to a CD and write down how it makes me feel. It's such an easy "A."
Reese: No matter how easy an "A" is, a "D" is always easier, Malcolm.

Malcolm: "F"?! I can't believe that goateed moron gave me an "F." "You obviously didn't even listen to the piece.
" I listened to it. You saw me.
Reese: You know, with the right kind of pen, you can turn that "F" into a "P."

Malcolm: I have a favor to ask. I'm taking Music Appreciation, but I'm not doing so well. I have to get an "A" in this class. I know you know about this stuff, so I'm willing to pay you ten bucks an hour to teach me until I get it right, okay?
Dewey: [laughs] "The Adagio for Organ and Strings" makes you happy?
Malcolm: Are you going to help me or not?
Dewey: So let me get this straight. You, the brilliant genius Malcolm, are coming to me, your little brother, for help on your homework?
Malcolm: Yes, Dewey, that's right.
Dewey: So you're a total idiot at music?
Malcolm: Yes, Dewey, it seems that way.
Dewey: Huh. That's probably why you're such a drag to be around.
Malcolm: Yes, Dewey, that's probably why I'm such a drag to be around.
Dewey: Interesting. And that must be why you're hitting yourself.
Malcolm: Is this gonna take long?
Dewey: Depends how fast you obey. And that must be why you're hitting yourself.