Malcolm: Okay, you know what? This is stupid. We have to talk about this.
Reese: Right. I mean, just because it's weird doesn't mean we can't handle it. We're brothers.
Malcolm: Right. We've been through everything together. We shouldn't be pussy footing around about it. I got you something.
Reese: Hey, I got you something.
Malcolm: Really? See, this is what I'm talking about. We're being open and supportive and honest with each other. Here.
Reese: What's this? It's called "If You're Gay, It's Okay." It's full of great resources.
Malcolm: What's this?
Reese: Naughty Pool Boys III. I watched ten or twelve of these, and this one seems to have the most stuff you guys like.

Jessica: And it never even occurred to you to wonder why Reese is so angry all the time? Why he acts like such a jerk?
Malcolm: Because he's a jerk.
Jessica: Oh, that's right. Just because he's your brother doesn't mean you should put any thought into it. He couldn't possibly be dealing with anything weird and confusing. He couldn't possibly be afraid to admit that he wanted to go see a musical because you'd make fun of him.
Malcolm: Of course I'd make fun of him. What kind of guy wants to see a Broadway musical?
Jessica: Yes, Malcolm. What kind of a guy does want to go see a Broadway musical?
Malcolm: [scoffs] Come on.
Jessica: Maybe you're not being selfish. Maybe you're just too scared where it leads if you think about how much he fusses over his hair and his body and his gourmet cooking. Some people just don't want to see what's right in front of their faces. [Jessica looks at the body-building magazines on Reese's bed]
Malcolm: Nuh-uh.
Jessica: Look, maybe I'm butting in where I don't belong, but you're his brother, and he should at least be able to count on you for support.

Malcolm: Wait. I'm not gay. You're gay.
Reese: No, I'm not. You are.
Malcolm: I'm not gay.
Reese: Malcolm, check out what they're doing in that movie, and then tell me you're not gay.
Malcolm: No, this is... She said...
Jessica: [laughs hysterically] Oh, my God! Oh- Oh- Oh- You plan, you hope, but you never think it's going turn out this good!
Reese: Stop laughing.
Jessica: I don't think I can! [laughs hysterically] When you guys were dancing, and you did that little... Oh, my God, it was so sweet! There's nothing more I can ask for, honestly. You guys make me so happy! Oh, God, it hurts! Well, I better go drag my dad off the lawn. He likes to fall asleep right next to the toilet. [laughs] See you guys at dinner. [laughs o.s.]