Dewey: Hello, sir.
Man: Sorry. I don't eat candy.
Dewey: Oh, these aren't candy bars. These are America Bars.
Man: What are you talking about?
Dewey: You know, America Bars. Well, actually, I prefer the term "Freedom Bars." You love America, right?
Man: Well, of course I do.
Dewey: Well, there are a lot of people out there who are hoping we won't do our part.
Man: What do you mean?
Dewey: You know. People. People who don't have this country's best interests at heart.
Man: So, these candy bars help fight terrorism?
Dewey: With every chocolatey, nougaty bite.

Malcolm: How much blood do we have left?
Stevie: Plenty. I snuck... another pint... when he was sleeping.
Malcolm: Stevie!
Stevie: He wants... to help.
Malcolm: I know, but I took care of that. He kept bugging me, so I gave him some food coloring and told him they were chemicals.
Reese: [runs in] Guys, guys! I've made a discovery! When you mix blue and yellow, you get an entirely new color! I'm gonna name it... [holds up vial of green liquid] "blellow."

Reese: What's that? Ah. The stink of failure.
Malcolm: Okay, Reese. We give up. Just tell us what you did and we'll give you credit.
Reese: Okay, just sign this.
Malcolm: "Reese is a full partner in this experiment and is entitled to a full share of the credit because without his help, this would have been impossible."
[Malcolm signs the paper and hands it to Stevie to sign]
Stevie: Outwitted... by a dumb ass.