Lois Quote #774
Quote from Lois in Water Park
Lois: Do you think we're wealthy?!
Malcolm: What?!
Lois: Do you think we're wealthy? Wealthy people drive fancy cars. They buy fresh pasta. Do we do any of those things? No! Wealthy people can afford to have their vacations ruined. No big deal. They just pick up and they go again. Your father and I work so hard. We work so long. What is wrong with you two?! Are you aborigines?! Every time I turn around, I hear someone screaming and fighting, and I pray to God it's someone else's kids, but it's not. [Malcolm looks at Lois standing in the flume and then looks at Reese] It's always you! Sane children would appreciate this... [Malcolm gets Reese's attention and looks down at Lois. Reese shakes his head, but Malcolm insists.] ...but you have to keep going at each other like rabid monkeys! It is not enough that you do this every day. You have to make me suffer, too. So help me! [looks at Malcolm and Reese] Don't you dare!
[As Lois points a stern finger at Malcolm, he reaches out and pokes her finger, sending her falling back into the slide]
Lois: [screams]
Life Guard: Arms and legs crossed at all times!
Reese: That is the bravest thing I've ever seen you do.
Malcolm: Yeah.
Reese: You're going to die.
Malcolm: I know. So, do you think she's okay? [Lois growls as she pulls the boys into the slide]
More Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Water Park’ Quotes
Quote from Dewey
Mrs. White: First, we sort by the number of holes, then by color. What's in your mouth?
Dewey: Nothing.
Mrs. White: There are at least 20 things I will not tolerate and lying is one of them. Spit it out. [Dewey spits a button into her hand] You're eating my buttons.
Dewey: I wasn't eating. I was saving.
Mrs. White: What are you, a hamster? What were you saving it for?
Dewey: I don't know. It's pretty. It's my favorite one.
Mrs. White: You know, actually, it's my favorite, too. What do you think of this one?
Dewey: It's ugly. I hate it.
Mrs. White: So do I. My, you're a smart little boy.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Who wants to make five bucks?
All: How?
Hal: I need someone to take the fall.
Lois: [o.s.] Oh, my God!
Malcolm: What did you do?
Hal: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.
Lois: [o.s.] Oh, my God!
Malcolm: Make it ten.
Hal: Done.
Lois: [o.s.] Oh, my God!
Hal: You're a good son. [grabs Malcolm] I got him, honey! I got him! Don't worry.
Lois Quotes
Quote from Graduation
Lois: That doesn't matter. What does matter is you'll be the only person in that position who will ever give a crap about people like us. We've been getting the short end of the stick for thousands of years, and I, for one, am sick of it. Now, you are going to be president, mister, and that's the end of it.
Malcolm: Did it ever occur to you that I could have taken this job, gotten really rich and then bought my way into being president?
Lois: Of course it did. We decided against it.
Malcolm: What?!
Lois: Because then you wouldn't be a good president. You wouldn't have suffered enough.
Malcolm: I've been suffering all my life.
Lois: I'm sorry, it's not enough. You know what it's like to be poor, and you know what it's like to work hard. Now you're going to learn what it's like to sweep floors and bust your ass and accomplish twice as much as all the kids around you. And it won't mean anything because they will still look down on you. And you will want so much for them to like you, and they just won't. And it'll break your heart. And that'll make your heart bigger and open your eyes and finally you will realize that there's more to life than proving you're the smartest person in the world. I'm sorry, Malcolm, but you don't get the easy path. You don't get to just have fun and be rich and live the life of luxury.
Hal: That's Dewey.
Dewey: Really?
Malcolm: This is unbelievable. You actually expect me to be president. No, no, I'm sorry. You expect me to be one of the greatest presidents in the history of the United States.
Lois: You look me in the eye and you tell me you can't do it.
Quote from Graduation
Malcolm: You know what? I'm glad! This is appropriate. Now my life looks exactly how I feel. How could you screw me over like that?
Lois: Because you were going to take that job, and we are not going to let you throw your life away.
Malcolm: How is being rich throwing my life away?!
Lois: Because it's not the life you're supposed to have! The life you're supposed to have is you go to Harvard, and you earn every fellowship and internship they have. You graduate first in your class, and you start working in public service, either district attorney or running some foundation, and then you become governor of a mid-sized state, and then you become president.
Malcolm: What?!
Lois: Of the United States.
Malcolm: Dad?
Hal: I'm sorry, son. It's true.
Francis: I thought you knew.
Hal: Our expectations started out much smaller, but you just kept upping the ante.