Hal Quote #430
Quote from Hal in Clip Show 2
Hal: I just don't let the stress get to me. I haven't had any special training; it's just my way.
Lois: You are going to pay for this.
Hal: Oh, see, that kind of comment doesn't help anyone.
Lois: I'm sorry, I only just learned that I am a human time bomb.
Hal: And you're not the least bit curious about how I'm going to do it?
Lois: Oh, you are not going to kill yourself. You can't even rip off your own Band-Aids.
Hal: I happen to be very hairy, but this is different. I have thought this through. It is going to be beautiful and romantic and it's going to make everyone forget about your stupid funeral.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Clip Show 2’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: You can't blame the way Francis is on me.
Hal: You- You honestly don't see your part in all of this? Parents' weekend at the military school. You two got into a sword fight. You dragged him off the field in the middle of a tee-ball game because you thought he gave you a look. His first words were, "You shut up." Lois, you two have been at each other's throats since the day he was born.
Lois: He started it.
Hal: What?
Lois: Nothing.
Hal: No, no. You said he started it. What does that mean?
Lois: Just leave me alone.
Hal: How the hell can a baby start anything?
Lois: I don't know, Hal. It's just, everything started so badly right after he was born.
Hal: What, the staph infection? What does that have to do with anything?
Lois: I was stuck in a hospital without my baby. Completely isolated. For six weeks, all I could do was lie there and-and worry about him and think about how much he needed me to nurse him and to and to hold him. And when they finally let me out, I run home as fast as I can to take care of poor little Francis, and when I get there, I discover he's happy. He couldn't have cared less I was gone all that time. You were taking care of him. He was happy as a clam. I was just an intrusion.
Hal: Honey, I had no idea...
Lois: I know it's wrong and I know it's creepy and I can't help it. I'm the worst mother of all time.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Okay, tangible assets. How do we expect to find anything? We just shove stuff in boxes. Look, there's a fortune cookie in here.
Lois: Wait, here's something we already did. This'll save time. We already decided Malcolm gets the coin collection.
Hal: Great. What coin collection?
Lois: You remember that proof set we had hidden in the closet? The one that Dewey found and swallowed...
Hal: Oh, yeah, that was 500 bucks down the drain. And not one dime in the strainer.
Quote from Lois
Hal: Why do we have to do this in the middle of the night anyway?
Lois: I will not have the boys see us writing a will. If they start thinking about a future without us, we'll totally lose control.