Lois Quote #327
Quote from Lois in Long Drive
Lois: And people, they hop from one person to another trying to get some sense of validation. They do this all through college, all through their twenties, having all sorts of casual encounters. And sometimes they even convince themselves that the relationship is serious because the sex is so great, but that...
Malcolm: Wait. Stop. What did you mean by validation? Validating what?
Lois: Well, sometimes people will attract other people just to prove to themselves that they're likable. And if that's the reason that you're having sex with someone, you can cause a lot of damage.
Malcolm: But if you want to have sex with someone, doesn't that mean you really like them?
Lois: Oh, no, honey. That's exactly the trap people fall into. You see, a lot of people...
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Long Drive’ Quotes
Quote from Otto
Otto: Helga, this cheese is magnificent. [laughs] Would you like to try just a little bite? No? How could you not like cheese? It is made from something that comes from you.
Francis: Hey, Otto.
Otto: Ooh. Francis. Have you seen Helga's squeaky toy? It's the one that looks like a little fire hydrant.
Francis: No, but I did get in the new branding iron.
Otto: Shh. Do you want to scare the poor thing out of her wits?
Francis: Otto, I know how much you love Helga, but we have to do this. All the cows have to get branded and de-wormed. I promise I will be very careful.
Otto: [fretful mutter] But don't tell her about it. You know, she is not as brave as she looks. I told her one ghost story around the campfire, and she had to sleep between me and Gretchen for a week.
Quote from Lois
Malcolm: Mom, don't do this!
Lois: Malcolm, in a few days, I'm going to be gone for a very long time, and I need to know that you're okay. We are going to have this talk. I know about you and Nicki.
Malcolm: I'm not seeing Nicki! I'm not having sex! I know about protection! I know all that stuff!
Lois: Malcolm, there's a lot more to being a sexually responsible person than what they teach you in health class. It's very different when you're experiencing it yourself.
Malcolm: Mom, stop. I'll do anything you ask. Just don't have this conversation.
Lois: Oh, honey, it's going to happen.
Malcolm: [groans] No.
Lois: You think I like it? You think I like the embarrassment we're going to be feeling for the next few hours? But, Malcolm, I have no choice. I cannot be there when you are having sex.
Malcolm: God!
Lois: So I'm going to try to give you the benefit of my experience. I'm going to bury you with every piece of information I have. I don't know what will be helpful and what won't, so I'm just going to tell you everything.
Malcolm: Oh, my God!
Lois: The sooner we start, the sooner it'll be over with. Now, this is a diaphragm.
Quote from Lois
Lois: Aha! No coaster. Look at that ring. That is why I have to move out of this house.
Malcolm: Mom.
Lois: Every time you boys thoughtlessly mar the furniture by refusing to use coasters, what are you doing?
Boys: Killing the baby.
Lois: Killing the baby. Every time you run through the house, every time you destroy furniture, every time you fight with each other, you are killing the baby.
Hal: Lois, the doctor just said you should avoid stress.
Lois: Which is just medical jargon for the simple fact that every time you boys misbehave, you might as well be taking a knife and putting it in that baby's tiny little heart.
Malcolm: Will you stop saying that?
Lois: I just hope you boys have the character to channel the horrible guilt you should be feeling Into better behavior while I'm gone.
Boys: We're sorry.