Reese: This isn't fair.
Malcolm: Yes, it is. It's absolutely fair.
Dewey: I'm getting hungry.
Malcolm: We're doing it my way.
Dewey: They're getting cold.
Malcolm: Do you want 'em divided up fairly or not?
Reese: You have more than me.
Malcolm: No, I don't. We all have 29 inches of fries so far. I have two four-inchers, five three-inchers and three two-inchers. You have five five-inchers and a four-incher. They're exactly the same. [Dewey puts a fry in his mouth] Dewey. Okay, we're going to assume this was a four-incher from the share pile. 117 minus 3 times 29 divided by 3 minus... We each take a two-inch bite out of this one. [to camera] Last week we had curly fries. It took us three hours.

Hal: Boys, they're called Gut-Busters. They take a sausage, stuff it with cheese, wrap it with bacon and shove it in that deep-fat fryer full of lard. They're indescribable. Bon appetit.

Stevie: Good... game.
Malcolm: [panting] This... sucks.
Stevie: You... mocking me?
Malcolm: No... tired.
Stevie: Get... skates.
Malcolm: Can't. Dad.