Hal Quote #63

Quote from Hal in Cheerleader

Lois: Hal, it's time for the talk.
Hal: I don't know what you mean.
Lois: The talk, Hal.
Hal: Oh, geez, he's a little young, don't you think?
Lois: You waited so long with Francis; look what happened there.
Hal: All right, but if I'm giving the talk, all three boys are getting it at the same time. And I'm not doing it again. So if we have any more kids, they're on their own.

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 ‘Cheerleader’ Quotes

Quote from Stevie

Malcolm: Oh, my God.
Stevie: Call... nine... one...

Quote from Spangler

Francis: Look, sir-
Spangler: I have the floor. In the short time that you have been under my care, we have had our share of conflicts. In all my efforts to get through to you, I have tried every method I know how. [removes normal hook]
Francis: And besides mental and physical abuse, sir, exactly which methods would those be?
Spangler: This photo made me realize something. I used to be like you. Insolent, arrogant, cavalier.
Francis: Sir, I-
Spangler: Floor. [attaches pipe-holding hook and smokes] Now, son, you are on the precipice. Now, I am going to tell you a story about my life in the hopes of finally getting you to straighten yourself out. In the coming hours, you are going to hear things that are going to horrify you.
Francis: It sounds illuminating, sir, but I have biology.
Spangler: I've taken the liberty of canceling your next three classes. Son, do you know what a wet nurse is?

Quote from Spangler

Spangler: So there we were - the ocean, my stepfather and me. As the storm raged overhead, he made one final lunge for the rudder. I ripped it from his hands and stared him down. He knew that I was prepared to kill him. I left port that day a 16-year-old boy. I returned a man.
Francis: That was an amazing story, sir. I mean, I was skeptical at first, but we do have something in common. I mean, look at the way both our mothers abandoned us.
Spangler: What are you talking about?
Francis: You know, how I was shipped off here and you were left with your wet nurse for all those years.
Spangler: That story had nothing to do with my mother. It had to do with me finally taking responsibility for my own actions.
Francis: Just sounded like she may have been a little bit distant.
Spangler: Well, that is none of your business. I swear, you are absolutely fixated on mothers.
Francis: I am not fixated.
Spangler: Can you name one thing in your life that you don't blame on your mother?
Francis: Sure. ... Ugh, I'm sorry. I was just giving an opinion.
Spangler: Well, it's that pop psychology nonsense that-
Francis: It is nothing to get defensive about.
Spangler: I am not defensive. Every time anybody denies a lie, they're called defensive.
Francis: Fine. I take it back. Your mother was a saint.
Spangler: I am not saying that at all.