Malcolm Quote #63
Quote from Malcolm in Lois vs. Evil
Malcolm: [to camera] I know a lot of kids say they like school. But honestly, I just find it exhausting. I mean, when I am in school I'm either bored, terrified or confused about Julie Houlerman.
Julie: Hi, Malcolm.
Malcolm: [to camera] Perfect example. What does she mean by that? Is it just "Hi"? Is she trying to say she likes me? Is she just being nice? And now I have to figure out a secret way to answer her without A) acting like I like her or B) acting like I don't like her or C) acting like I've never even thought about A or B. Just be pleasant and noncommittal. [to Julie] Hey, Ju- [notices she's walked off] [to camera] She's doing this to me on purpose.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Lois vs. Evil’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Malcolm: [to camera] It's been ten days since Mom lost her job. Yesterday for dinner, we had macaroni and rice. Today it's rice and macaroni.
Reese: Mom, I can't eat this stuff anymore.
Lois: Reese, this is not the time for complaining.
Reese: I'm not complaining; I'm constipated.
Lois: I'm sorry, we can't afford to live lavishly anymore. Drink your milk.
Dewey: It's lumpy.
Lois: Then chew it.
Quote from Lois
Malcolm: You're going to keep the food?
Lois: Yes. I'm not going to throw away perfectly good pie filling and... lamb chutney.
Malcolm: Don't you even care how humiliating this is?
Reese: We've done can drives. This is just the crap people find when they clean out the garage.
Lois: Okay, just stop it. I know how hard this is but no one ever said life is fair. Sometimes decent, hard-working people get dumped on for no good reason. They just have to wipe their eyes and keep on walking. Something will turn up. We just have to hold on a little bit longer.
Hal: And in the meantime be thankful for small favors. Anyone want the last olive?
Lois: Those aren't olives. Those are peaches.
[cut to an ambulance driving down the street with its siren on]
Quote from Hal
Lois: A $150 bottle of cognac? How could you take this?!
Dewey: I'm sorry.
Hal: My God, would you look at this thing? Can you imagine the man who spends $150 on a bottle of cognac? What do you think a guy like that pays for socks?