Dewey: And then the monster started growling, so I threw rocks at him and killed him. And then he started flying around on rocket boots, and I got to ride inside his head, and now the monster's my friend, and we went to get Slurpees.
Reese: You did not. You're just lying.
Hal: Reese, if that's what Dewey says happened, there's no reason to argue about it.
Reese: No one believes I beat the last level of Mortal Kombat.
Hal: Because that's just ridiculous. No one beats Sub-Zero.

Malcolm: [to camera] Okay, I've been up for half an hour. I've had my cereal. It's time for Mom to ask the same annoying question she asks me every morning.
Lois: So, Malcolm, what are you doing in your genius class today?
Malcolm: Nothing. It's just as dumb and boring as being in regular class, except now I get ostracized.
Lois: Ostracized? Oh, you're learning such big words.

Lois: Oh, sweetie, not again.
Dewey: The monster! It tried to suck my brain out!
Lois: [to Reese and Malcolm] All right, I have had it. You two are banned from Nintendo.
Malcolm: Okay.
Reese: We're already banned from Nintendo.
Malcolm: [to camera] The sad thing is he thinks he just outsmarted her.