Spangler Quote #43
Quote from Spangler in Dewey's Dog
Francis: Where is he? He should've been back by now. Look at this, my palms are sweating!
Eric: Would you calm down? Here he comes.
Francis: So?
Spangler: [slurs] For some reason, I was fired. [falls over]
Francis: I don't believe it, he's drunk again!
Eric: You're just going to have to face it, Francis, there's no hope for this guy. The only thing that ever made him remotely happy was tormenting and bullying helpless students. Without that he's nothing.
[cut to Spangler at an Alaskan retirement home:]
Spangler: You call that a collage? It is an insult to the craft! I can see paste coming up over the top of the Popsicle stick!
Woman: I'm sorry, I have arthritis.
Spangler: That's it. You have just lost pudding for the whole group. Feel free to thank Mrs. Meekitjuk after I leave.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Dewey's Dog’ Quotes
Quote from Dewey
Dewey: Ever since the day I was born, you guys have been torturing me. I remember you trying to switch me for another baby at the park. I remember you telling me the tooth fairy was a vampire. I remember every wet willy, every booger sandwich, every stink hat-
Reese: Dewey, we're sorry!
Dewey: ...every waffle butt, every Chester Backster and every purple nurple! And now you're going to pay. [Marshmallow barks]
Malcolm: Dewey, this isn't gonna work. Mom and Dad'll be home in a few hours, that dog will be gone, you'll be in trouble and we'll kick your ass for the next ten years!
Dewey: I know. So we'd better get started.
Malcolm: What do you want?
Dewey: Everything. I want everything.
Quote from Spangler
Francis: I couldn't sleep at all last night.
Eric: Me, too. It's like there's something creepy in the air.
Spangler: Francis!
Francis: Commandant Spangler!
[Eric drops a tray of cutlery as he salutes]
Francis: What are you doing in Alaska?
Spangler: I've come for you, Francis! I've been searching for you for months.
Francis: Me? Why?
Spangler: Why? Because... after 32 years as an educator and disciplinarian, your desertion stood out as my only failure. A failure that... haunted my every waking moment. I began to see your face in those of other young cadets who didn't deserve the wrath that I poured down on their innocent souls. There was a lawsuit. Charges were filed. Disgrace. I can't even remember the fire but I do... remember... the cause! Through all of my suffering... I saw the stupid grinning face of the one person responsible for all of my suffering!
Eric: Who?
Spangler: Die! Die! Die! [whimpers]
Francis: Sir, cut it out, your hooks are cold. [Spangler sobs]
Quote from Dewey
Hal: I don't understand it! An entire roast?! With your bare hands?! And the... the... The salad, the potatoes, the green beans! What do you have to say for yourself?!
Dewey: I was hungry, I guess.
Reese: [to Malcolm] This is great. Let's tell him about the dog and really nail his coffin shut!
Malcolm: Not yet. I have a hunch.
Hal: An entire stick of butter?!
Reese: Now! Let's tell them now.
Malcolm: Wait for it, wait for it. Wait a second.
Hal: How could you eat a candle?
Dewey: I like candles. [bites off a chunk of candle] I think they're good.
Hal: That's it! You are going to the hospital and getting your stomach pumped!