Reese Quote #734
Jackie: Reese, that was amazing!
Reese: [gets out of the car] Listen, when the kids at school ask you about this, tell them I got under your bra. [Reese is tackled by police officers]
Quote from Hal
Reese: Remember, Dad, you're picking me up from school to take me to the DMV.
Hal: I wouldn't miss it, son. [quietly to Lois] Dear God, what are we gonna do?
Lois: What can we do? He hasn't done anything wrong.
Hal: Oh, please, it's Reese! We just haven't looked hard enough.
Lois: Hal, we're gonna have to face it, that kid is gonna be mobile.
Hal: Reese surrounded by six thousand pounds of steel and 20 gallons of explosive fuel?! It's like giving a shark a sub-machine gun!
Quote from Reese
Reese: Dad, you sent the check to the driving school, right?
Hal: Yes, Reese.
Reese: You're sure you signed it, right? It's not gonna bounce or anything?
Hal: Everything is fine, Reese. Just go there straight after school tomorrow.
Reese: You guys are the best! I promise when you're old and crazy, I'll drive to the home and visit you. [like talking to a child] Maybe we can go for a drive round the park. Would you like that?
Lois: I can't wait.
Quote from Craig
Craig: I lied because I needed your help. I finally got my insurance settlement. This receiver works at both SRS 5.1 and DTS. Uni-directional subwoofer for surround sound, progressive-scan DVD player. Plays both AIFF and MP3/4 on either CDs or CDRs. I figured you'd be comfortable with this level of electronics. I mean, the guys at the store couldn't find the graphic equalisers with two hands and a flashlight.
Malcolm: You dragged me over here to hook up your stereo? Can't you get one of your friends to help you do this?
Craig: ... And tick off the other friends I didn't ask? Malcolm, this goes far beyond just a stereo. This is going to be the greatest entertainment center ever. Have you ever wanted to be the best at something? Not just good, I don't mean great, I mean the absolute best?
Malcolm: I don't know.
Craig: Well, I have. Ever since I was a kid watching Land of the Lost on my tiny black and white six inch. I knew there'd be a day, a day when I could create my high-def universe. A magical realm where fantasy and technology intersect on my every whim because I'm the King.
Malcolm: So your lifelong dream was to become the world's best TV watcher?
Malcolm: I'm in!
Quote from Baby: Part 2
Fran: When your milk duct is blocked, it's called mastitis. It's important that you let your baby suck the obstruction out of the breast, and don't be alarmed if the baby then vomits up a cottage cheese-type substance. Now, join me over here...
Dewey: Like I needed another reason to hate cottage cheese.
Reese: I've been kind of zoning in and out here, but did she just say milk comes out of those things?
Malcolm: Reese, that's what they're for.
Reese: My God! Women are the cows of people!
Quote from Motivational Speaker
Lois: Good morning, Malcolm. There's money on the counter for your yearbook.
Malcolm: I don't want to buy a yearbook. I don't want anything that will remind me I ever went to that stupid school.
Reese: How can you say that? Being part of a group is important. Don't you care about loyalty? I think loyalty is the most important thing there is.
Lois: Well, I'm glad at least one of my sons knows something about that.
[Reese sees the mail man walking down the drive:]
Reese: [shouts through the window] Hey! What are you doing here?! This isn't your house! You don't live here! We live here! This is our house! What do you want?! Huh?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?!
Quote from Krelboyne Picnic
Lois: I don't understand why you don't want to go to this picnic, Malcolm. I think it sounds like fun.
Hal: Yeah, sitting on the grass, eating barbecue.
Malcolm: It's Krelboyne. It's not going to be on the grass because half the class is allergic. And don't expect any meat either, because they all voted not to serve anything that ever had a mother.
Dewey: Cousin Nancy doesn't have a mother.
Lois: That's right. She has two daddies.
Reese: Oh, man, two guys as your parents? That house has got to be a dude's paradise.