Lois Quote #161
Lois: So, I come home after working a ten-hour shift and I see my boys and they're covered with grass and they're covered with paint and then they look at me. And you know all they can say is, "Where's dinner?" [all murmur in agreement]
Karen: Too much is expected of us.
Julie: Well, our society is just so screwed up. Thirty years ago, you could at least pick something and go with it. A housewife, a career woman, sex slave. But now you're supposed to do everything and it's impossible!
Woman #3: Unless you're Lillian Miller.
All: Yeah!
Lois: You know, if it weren't for me my family would be naked living in trees, eating berries. I mean, do they appreciate what I do for them? No!
Karen: Lillian's family just surprised her with a trip to Spain!
Lois: No kidding! You know the other day, I discovered a two-inch-long hair growing out of my shoulder. I mean, how long has it been there? I don't even have time to put myself together in the morning.
Karen: Lillian Miller... [chuckles]... brought 20 home-made cakes to the school-bake sale.
Lois: I had those! They were delicious!
Julie: The woman just cooks like a god but she never puts on a pound! You can't be 45 and still be a size 2! That's children's sizes. That's for children!
Woman #2: And Lillian!
Lois: Ladies, I just realized something. Society isn't the thing that's making us miserable. I mean, hell, we're society! [all cheer in agreement] No, no! Every single one of our problems can be traced back to that tight-assed overachieving marathon-running master chef... Lillian Miller!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Book Club’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Reese: [chuckles] Tracy really should have invited us. This is what you get for being rude.
Malcolm: Okay, we'll hide these in the closet tonight, then we'll cover up the hole and by the time Mom's home, we'll be in bed sleeping like babies.
Lois: Boys! Fireworks? Fireworks? [falls over the fence] Omph!
Reese: How did she?
Malcolm: I don't know!
Lois: You boys are in so much trouble! I can't leave you alone for a second! I guess next time I go out, I'll have to chain you to the floor! We tell you to behave and you don't even pretend to listen! [chopper overhead] You might as well cut off your ears and throw them in trash for all you use them. You are grounded for the next month! [Lois is illuminated]
Police Officer: [o.s.] Get down on the ground with your hands behind your head.
[Lois puts her hands behind her head and kneels down]
Lois: While you're being punished, I hope your friends are doing all sorts of fun stuff because you won't be doing any of it! You are gonna suffer!
Quote from Hal
Hal: We'll be fine! [inner monologue] I don't want to screw this up. Lois needs time to herself. She deserves a night out. She'll have fun and will come home happy. I just have to keep the boys under control. What am I talking about? They're good kids. What am I talking about, "What am I talking about"? They're monsters! They'll destroy everything and then ruin Lois's night! Then she'll feel like we can't be trusted on our own! She'll never want a night out again and it will all be my fault!
Malcolm: We're going out back.
Hal: [out loud] You're not going anywhere! You're gonna stay in your room all night with the door shut! Now go! Go!
Quote from Francis
Francis: [on the phone] Hey, it's Francis. How's Alaska?
Eric: Francis, where are you? You were supposed to be here two weeks ago.
Francis: I know, but no-one will pick me up, I ran out of money and had to work tarring the roofs for a week. Apparently, there's a serial killer loose in Idaho who looks just like me.
Eric: You better get here soon. I don't know how much longer they'll hold the job.
Francis: I'm almost there! Listen, do I take the provincial highway 99 or the 27 to provincial highway 12?
Eric: What?! Where are you?
Francis: I'm close to British Columbia. I'm in Bellingham, Washington.
Eric: Francis, you're still 2,000 miles away!
Francis: What?! No way! I've got to be near to Alaska. I've just exchanged all my money for Alaskan dollars!
Eric: There's no such thing as Alaskan dollars!
Francis: Sir? [runs off]