Reese Quote #63
Quote from Reese in Lois' Birthday
Francis: He's not the only one pissed at you two little twerps.
Malcolm: What are you talking about?
Francis: I had this great party lined up with this beautiful girl, and all I had to do was come home, make an appearance at Mom's birthday, be the good son. Everything would've been fine, but now my trip home has been tainted. In her mind, we're all thoughtless jerks thanks to you guys.
Reese: What did we do?
Francis: Think about it. Mom gave you money to buy her a present, and you spent most of it on candy!
Reese: And the rest on her presents.
Francis: But you spent most of it on candy.
Reese: We've established that. We're just going around in circles here.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Lois' Birthday’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
Hal: What's wrong?
Lois: The boys.
Hal: Oh. Don't let them get to you. They'll be out of the house in ten years. What did those mean boys do, huh?
Lois: I gave them 30 dollars to buy something nice. They spent it all on themselves. They don't even care it's my birthday.
Hal: Well... Those boys are going to hear from me, let me tell you. They are going to get one heck of a talking-to. And then... I think I'll go for a drive. I'm just so furious. [walks into the kitchen] Damn it, damn it, damn it! Her birthday's on the 12th! Look at the... [digital watch beeps] Oh! No, no. No, I programmed this stupid watch to remind me that... Oh! [slams watch] [shouts] You boys are in so much trouble! [quietly] You've got to help me on this. [shouts] I can't believe that you could be so thoughtless! [quietly] We all screwed up really big this time. [shouts] I have a good mind to use the belt on all three of you!
Malcolm: Why are you yelling at us?
Hal: Sorry isn't good enough, mister. [shouts] I forgot your mom's birthday. [gasps] [whimpers]
Quote from Hal
Hal: Oh, geez, honey, that's... never going to happen.
Lois: What?
Hal: We're not smart enough to do that. Look who you're talking to. You might as well ask us all to be a foot taller. Sweetie, you're always going to have to tell us what to do. I mean, look at this half-baked celebration. I mean, we're at the top of our game here. Honey, the only thing that we're ever going to be able to offer you is our total abject obedience. I- I know that doesn't sound like much, but if you look at it this way, our meager abilities are yours completely. 100%.
Clown: Listen, wide ride, these guys are just trying to do something nice for you. Give them a break.
Hal: I'm sorry. Did you just call my wife "wide ride"?
Clown: Oh, okay, I get it. You gotta make a big show for... [Hal punches clown]
Hal: Now, you're going to get up and apologize... [clown punches Hal]
Quote from Craig
Craig: Hi, Hal.
Hal: Craig, what do you want?
Craig: Well, Lois and I had an exchange, and I felt bad... so... I'm sure she told you all about it.
Hal: No, actually, she didn't say anything. Craig, we're in the middle of...
Craig: Well, it's complicated. You see, I didn't buy Lois a present even though I wanted to, and I thought "This is silly", so I went ahead and got her one and... here it is.
Hal: Oh. Great. [chuckles] I'll... I'll take it in to her right now. Oh, such a nice... nice gift.
Craig: You know what? On second thought, uh, I can take care of this tomorrow. I'll bring it in to work.
Hal: Oh no, It wouldn't be any trouble at all. Really. [chuckles] No, I'd be happy to take it in to her.
Craig: Yeah, I'd really hate to put you out.
Hal: Don't be silly. [both chuckle] Give it. Give it.
Craig: Lois, it's Craig! He's stealing your present! It's a present that I paid $129 for!