Hal Quote #75

Quote from Hal in Rollerskates

Hal: Malcolm, where have you been? You got to get in on this.
Malcolm: Dad... I want skating lessons.
Hal: Son, do you know, once you start there's no going back?
Malcolm: I know.
Hal: This means total commitment. Once you begin the path, there is no leaving the path. Are you sure you're ready for that? I mean really ready?
Malcolm: I-I guess so.
Hal: Neat. We'll start tomorrow. Come on, dig in before they harden.

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 ‘Rollerskates’ Quotes

Quote from Malcolm

Reese: This isn't fair.
Malcolm: Yes, it is. It's absolutely fair.
Dewey: I'm getting hungry.
Malcolm: We're doing it my way.
Dewey: They're getting cold.
Malcolm: Do you want 'em divided up fairly or not?
Reese: You have more than me.
Malcolm: No, I don't. We all have 29 inches of fries so far. I have two four-inchers, five three-inchers and three two-inchers. You have five five-inchers and a four-incher. They're exactly the same. [Dewey puts a fry in his mouth] Dewey. Okay, we're going to assume this was a four-incher from the share pile. 117 minus 3 times 29 divided by 3 minus... We each take a two-inch bite out of this one. [to camera] Last week we had curly fries. It took us three hours.

Quote from Stevie

Stevie: In your... face.

Quote from Hal

Hal: Boys, they're called Gut-Busters. They take a sausage, stuff it with cheese, wrap it with bacon and shove it in that deep-fat fryer full of lard. They're indescribable. Bon appetit.

 Hal Quotes

Quote from Blackout

Hal: I have Kobe beef.
Reese: No way.
Hal: Yes!
Reese: That's like $60 an ounce.
Hal: I know. I won it in a Minesweeper tournament at work. Years of practicing eight hours a day has finally paid off.

Quote from Malcolm Babysits

Hal: Hi, son. Didn't hear you drive up.
Malcolm: I decided to walk.
Hal: So, how's the job going?
Malcolm: They were jerks, so I quit.
Hal: Well, that's pretty much what work is. Welcome to the club.

Quote from Buseys Run Away

Lois: Why are you pacing?
Hal: Let me ask you something, Lois. What would you do if, hypothetically, through a series of unforeseeable circumstances, you found yourself commanding an army of benevolent strongmen?
Lois: What?
Hal: Picture it. A dozen guys, any one of them can rip a horse in half, willing to follow your every command. Well, you'd have to do something really great with that. Something noble and unselfish, but not too expensive. And we are not even taking into account that I could easily be led to the dark side. Lois, you have to promise me, if you ever see me holding a cat and laughing maniacally over a globe, you need to let me know.