Francis: Sorry. It just feels so amateurish. I mean, I know you guys are trying, but I've been tormented by the best. Let me tell you a little bit about the master.
[flashback to Lois screaming at a basketball coach in front of a young Francis:]
Lois: Traveling?! He wasn't traveling! Why don't you put your glasses on, buddy? You're missing a great game! Oh, oh-oh, you're going to give me a technical?! You're going to give me a technical?! You can't give me a technical!
[flashback to a long-haired Francis, his girlfriend and Lois on the couch with a photo album:]
Lois: Look at that little pee-pee. Oh, Francis, I forgot how tiny you are. Oh, oh, oh. That's the moment of his birth. You see? See him coming out feet first? Doctors said it was the biggest mucus plug they'd ever seen.
[flashback to Lois yelling at Francis in the guys' locker room:]
Francis: An eight-inch scratch on the car, Francis! Do you know how much that'll cost to fix?! If you think you are ever, ever borrowing my car again you are sadly mistaken! And I saw that tattoo, Jimmy! I'm telling your mother!
[present:]
Francis: And that's just the stuff I didn't block out.

Abe: Did you have fun tonight, Malcolm?
Malcolm: Yeah. [Kitty tucks Malcolm into bed tightly] I guess, but isn't it kind of early to be going to bed? It's not even 8:00.
Kitty: Oh, don't worry. That jigsaw puzzle will still be there in the morning. Now, I know you boys want to do a little chatting before sleepy time. [sets timer] Let's say four minutes. [exits]
Abe: Mrs. Kenarbin can be a tad strict. She doesn't know that sometimes boys have to be boys. Am I right?
[Abe sets the timer to 4 minutes 30 seconds]

Lois: [answers phone] Hello. [heavy breathing on line] Hello? [heavy breathing continues] Listen, pervert, this is the third time you've called and I have just about had it with-
Stevie: Is Malcolm... there?
Lois: Oh, hi, Stevie. Sorry.