Hal Quote #892
Quote from Hal in Cattle Court
Hal: Well... I couldn't eat another bite. The pay channels seem to be on an unusually low scramble tonight, so if you'll all excuse me.
Dewey: Dad?
Hal: What's this? "This coupon entitles you to one free game night with Dad."
Dewey: Let's go.
Hal: Dewey, I wrote this in a blind panic in the hall closet while everyone was singing you "Happy Birthday." You're not gonna hold me to this, are you? [Dewey is silent] Does it have an expiration date?
Dewey: No.
Hal: Listen, I'll tell you what. In exchange for this, I'll give you two coupons good for future services. [Dewey pulls more coupons out of his pockets] What kind of pack rat are you? Don't you ever throw anything away? All right, fine! Let's go. And I'll start burning through some of these free hugs. I don't need them hanging over my head.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Cattle Court’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
Lois: And we can all thank Reese for the wonderful dinner he brought home from work.
Hal: Oh, way to go, son. And someday, all that toner I keep bringing home will come in handy, too.
Quote from Dewey
Dewey: Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I win. Wow, I smoked you again, Dad. Looks like I'm just better at Life than you.
Hal: Good for you, Dewey. But I hope you know that this isn't how things work in the real world. It's very oversimplified.
Dewey: Hmm.
Hal: I mean, you can't just break into a zoo, roll a couple of elevens and suddenly become the dean of a university.
Dewey: I did.
Hal: Son, I'm just trying to give you a life lesson here.
Dewey: Yet that's my orange limo sitting at the finish line, isn't it? Interesting.
Hal: [pretends to read card] "Dewey goes straight to bed with no dessert." Interesting.
Quote from Hal
Dewey: Dad? What's going on? I got your message at school. Is everything okay?
Hal: Everything's about to be. Have a seat.
Dewey: You pulled me out of a math test to play a game with you?
Hal: This is much more important than some useless math test. I have to make sure that you understand you got lucky last time. Life won't always go your way, Dewey. And the sooner you learn that lesson, the better. Sit down. Sit.
[later:]
Dewey: "You study hard and become an astronaut." All right.
Hal: What?! What?! What kind of lesson is this stupid game teaching you?! Where's the card that tells you your hemorrhoids are not covered by your health plan, huh?! Oh, would that not make a fun game?