Reese Quote #660
Quote from Reese in Stevie in the Hospital
Man #1: [on the phone] Ma'am, anyone who enjoys breathing will benefit from the new Ionator 5150. This amazing all natural purifier has been proven to remove 63%...
Man #2: [on phone] ...of all airborne pathogens including asbestos, cigarette smoke and Taiwanese dust mites. If you order now, we guarantee...
Reese: [on phone] ...you'll probably be dead by morning. But you're right, buddy, your life's not worth 50 bucks, so please let me off the phone so I can start saving people who want to live. All right, fine, I'll put you down for two, but next time, don't jerk me around. [hangs up]
Supervisor: How's everything going over here?
Reese: People are so stupid they'll believe anything. I threw the fact sheet out the window and just started making stuff up.
Supervisor: Ah, no problem. I made up the fact sheet. Six sales in 20 minutes. You're a natural. Keep this up and you got a good shot at winning the sales contest.
Reese: What contest?
Supervisor: Ah, we're tallying total sales over on the big board. First prize is a flat-screen TV. Second prize is a barbecue grill. Third prize is one of our air purifiers. But believe me, you don't want that. Keep up the good work.
Reese: [on the phone] Hello, I'm calling from Air Scrub Air Filters. No, no, no, don't put Mommy on the phone.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Stevie in the Hospital’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
Reese: I know I'm the new guy, but you've been on the phone for a half hour and you haven't closed this deal? Remember your ABCs. Always Be Selling.
Quote from Hal
Hal: What do you say, Reese? You want to take the new boat out this afternoon? Maiden voyage. Just you and me. Father and son slicing through the waves, wind in our hair. And look, I re-did the aft bathroom.
Reese: Sorry, Dad, I start my new job today.
Hal: Oh, come on! You don't actually do any work the first day. You're just filling out forms and deciding on a nemesis.
Quote from Lois
Lois: All right, Dewey, I know what's going on. [starts looking around her room] I know it's you. If it were Reese, he'd be bragging to everyone about it. Malcolm doesn't have the patience. So, that leaves you, Dewey. If I had any proof, we'd be having this conversation while I was walling you up inside your bedroom closet. [sighs] This is about the volcano, isn't it? All right, I acknowledge that perhaps I was a little inconsiderate of your needs, but that in no way justifies these petty attacks. Still, we have to move on. So, here's the deal: In the future, I promise to be more attentive and aware of your feelings, not that being the loving mother I am, I wouldn't be doing that anyway. Ah-ha! [sighs] And in return, you will promise to stop this stupid campaign to drive me crazy. Just give me a little sign that we understand each other. [two taps] Good.
[When Lois leaves her bedroom, a tree branch is repeatedly tapping against her window]