Malcolm: Dad, you've got to do something. Mom has been stalking those girls who humiliated Reese like some kind of vigilante.
Hal: What? Are you sure about this?
Malcolm: Yes. She's nailed two of them so far, and she just climbed out of the bathroom window to go get the third.
Hal: This sounds like a lot of supposition, Malcolm. I mean, it would be a different story if you had hard evidence or an eyewitness.
Malcolm: I saw her at school today. She was there when these butchered dolls' heads rolled out of one of the girls' lockers.
Hal: And what exactly do you mean when you say you were "there"?
Malcolm: Dad, stop it. Don't you care?
Hal: Of course, I care, but I think what we need right now is caution and prudence. A proactive wait-and-see... if you will.
Malcolm: So you're not going to do anything?
Hal: Listen, when your mother gets like this, we need to vigilantly keep abreast of all the developments in a fully-engaged yet cautiously-detached...
Malcolm: Oh, forget it if you're not going to help me, then I'll just stop her myself, and you can stay here and play your ridiculous little game.
Hal: Good.

Lois: So, this is pretty exciting, Reese. When did you meet this girl?
Reese: I haven't actually met her. Her cousin goes to school with me, and Cindy saw me at the dance last week and thought I was hot.
Lois: Oh, well, I don't blame her. I mean, forgetting I'm your mother for a minute, if I saw you walking down the street, I would think, there is one hot guy.
Dewey: Yeesh.
Reese: Cindy and I talked on the phone almost every night last week, and we totally have the same sense of humor. She said she saw me put the plastic dog poop in the punch bowl at the school dance, and we both agreed that the real stuff would have been funnier.
Lois: You put plastic poop in the punch bowl?!
Reese: Once again, you completely miss the point.

Lois: I need to talk to you.
Reese: Not now.
Lois: Please, I need to tell you something. I've been a terrible mother.
Reese: It's okay, Mom. I've known that for a long time.
Lois: No, you don't understand. When those girls humiliated you, instead of trying to comfort you and help you deal with your feelings, I just got caught up in my own anger and went on a rampage.
Reese: What?
Lois: All I was worried about was making them pay, and they did. But what disturbs me is how much I enjoyed crushing those three girls and watching them suffer. I tapped into some dark, ugly place inside of me. I was acting like... you. [scoffs] Oh, God, who am I kidding? I wasn't acting like you. I am you. [sobs] There's this horrible thing that's part of us that makes it seem okay to do really scary stuff. I must have gotten it from Grandma, and I passed it on to you, sweetie. And all I can say is I'm sorry. I'm deeply, deeply sorry.