Lois Quote #629
Quote from Lois in Secret Boyfriend
[dream sequence:]
Hal: Here we go, honey. Now, I know it's against doctor's orders, but I did get us a little something sweet.
Lois: Okay, Hal, but you be careful with your new bridgework.
Hal: Uh-huh. Oh, would you look at that? Little Robby was such a cute baby.
Lois: Oh, that reminds me. Malcolm called while you were out. It seems Robby has burned down the neighbor's pool house. Malcolm says he's at his wit's end with that boy. [both laugh]
Reese: [enters] Are you ready for this? I got an "F" on my math final.
Lois: Oh, no, Reese, I thought you said you studied.
Reese: Why do I even waste my time?! You know Mr. Escobar totally has it out for me 'cause I used to call his dad "Braceface."
Hal: But you are going to pass this time, right, son?
Reese: Do I look like a genie?! I can't predict the future! So why don't you just do me a favor and get off my back, okay, old man!
Lois: You can't treat your father like that!
Reese: Shove a cork in it, you crazy old hag!
Lois: My heart pills.
Reese: You'll get these when I get a sandwich. Off your wrinkled butt! Go, go, go!
[Lois wakes up and storms into the boys' room:]
Lois: Reese, you may think you're pulling some kind of scam, but I'm on to you! You are getting a job starting tomorrow! And keep your dirty mitts off your father's toupee!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Secret Boyfriend’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
Lois: I don't see you looking in the want ads.
Reese: You know, I had a job, Mom, and looking back on the whole experience, I've come to the conclusion that it's just not for me. I'm done with the job thing.
Lois: I'm sorry, Reese, but not working isn't one of your options.
Reese: Okay, I think I know what's going on here. Now, look, I want you to know that I'm not criticizing you and Dad. You obviously don't mind wasting your lives doing meaningless, repetitive tasks for unappreciative bosses. I respect that.
Lois: Do you mind telling me what you intend to do?
Reese: I'd like to finish my cereal.
Lois: All right, Reese, that's it! I am tired of fighting you on this. Until you get a job, this free ride is over. [exits]
Reese: Is anyone else getting a little tired of her?
Quote from Jessica
Malcolm: I did it! I told Vicki it was over. And it felt so good.
Jessica: Wow, that's great, Malcolm. To be honest, I didn't think you had the strength to do it.
Malcolm: So that's it. Now we're free to be together.
Jessica: Yeah. You know, there's just one problem. I don't feel that way about you, Malcolm.
Malcolm: What? But what about what you said?
Jessica: Yeah, I lied about that. I just couldn't stand to see someone make a fool of you. Someone besides me, that is.
Malcolm: But- Great. I just blew off Vicki, and now I'm left standing here looking like a complete idiot.
Jessica: But you recognize it. See, you're getting better already.
Malcolm: You're so sure of yourself, aren't you? Well, the truth is, I didn't need you. I could've figured this out on my own.
Jessica: Yeah, sometime after your secret marriage and three secret kids.
Malcolm: Shut up.
Jessica: Look, Malcolm, I'm on your side. I mean, do you really think I just hang out with you out of pity? You're an amazing complicated guy who's always surprising me. I mean, who knows where things could go between us. [kisses Malcolm] Yeah, nothing. Good night, Malcolm.
Quote from Reese
Reese: I had the weirdest dream last night. This crazy witch with snakes for hair was screaming at me. It was like she was going to kill me, but for some reason it was really important to her that I get a job.
Malcolm: Did she have bugged out crazy eyes?
Reese: Yeah!
Malcolm: She shows up in a lot of my dreams.
Lois: [enters] Good morning, Reese. You going to get a job today?
Reese: Okay, this is a little freaky.