Lois Quote #620
Lois: I cannot believe they called me in to work. I requested Halloween off eight months ago, and suddenly, Marybeth becomes a Wiccan, so she can take it as a religious holiday.
Hal: There will be more Halloweens barring some tragic event.
Lois: But this is the good one, you know? There's such a tiny window where the kids are still sweet and adorable, and you can dress them up however you want. Every year after that, Halloween's just another trip to the police station.
Hal: Life is unfair, Lois. And, sometimes, it's cut horrifically short with no warning whatsoever.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Halloween’ Quotes
Quote from Craig
Lois: Hey, hey, hey! What are these?
Karl: I must've knocked those in my pocket accidentally.
Lois: No, I saw you put them in your pocket. Craig, you saw him, too, didn't you?
Craig: Oh, sorry. The patch is over my good eye.
Lois: Well, I'm already into my break. You handle this, Craig, so I can get going.
Craig: Sure, no problem. [winks]
Lois: Did you just wink at him?
Craig: Oh, you were serious.
Lois: Craig, he committed a crime.
Craig: Sure, that's one side of it. But if he didn't steal from us, he'd just be stealing from somewhere else, and then we'd be losing a customer. Do you want to be responsible for that?
Quote from Lois
Lois: All right, you know the plan. You two are taking Jamie. No eggs, no stink bombs, no matches, no catapults, no Mace.
Reese: Fine.
Lois: No explosives.
Reese: Of course not.
Lois: No water balloons, no spray paint, no gasoline, no shaving cream, no toilet paper.
Reese: Wouldn't even think of it.
Lois: No ladder, no compressor, no soup.
Reese: You told her!
Dewey: I did not!
Lois: All right. I know your route. I will catch up with you when I take my break, to see how adorable and safe Jamie is.
Reese: So, um, any idea when that might be?
Lois: You don't need to know when. All you need to know is if you even think about doing anything stupid, I will swoop down out of the sky and land on you like a ton of bricks.
Dewey: So, the usual.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Lois, can I talk to you for a moment? You knew we were buying a death house, and you didn't tell me?!
Lois: I didn't tell you because I knew you'd have this reaction.
Hal: Well, of course I'd have this reaction. I don't like murder. Maybe that's something you should know about me.
Lois: Hal, it's always something with you. You passed on that one house because you thought the doorbell sounded gay. You can't have a perfect house.
Hal: It would be nice to have a murderless one.
Lois: Well, you should just drop it because there's nothing we can do about it. Death and mold are two things you can expect to find in any house, and we are not moving!
Hal: There's mold?!