Hal Quote #752
Quote from Hal in Reese vs. Stevie
Hal: All right, Reese, you're busted. Of all the stupid- Come on, front and center.
Dewey: Now, don't blame yourself.
Hal: Dewey, you were smoking? Do you have any idea what a dangerous, disgusting addiction that is? It took me years to quit! Do you want to end up breathing through a hole in your neck? Do you think that's cool?
Dewey: You can breathe through a hole in your neck?
Hal: What do you think your mother's gonna say about this?
Dewey: You can't tell Mom! She'll kill me!
Hal: Well, you should've thought of that earlier. Where would you even get cigarettes anyway?
Dewey: There's, like, 20 cartons hidden in your shop vac.
Hal: Oh, my God. That is my stash from ten years ago. Lois would kill me if... All right, Dewey, under the circumstances, I am giving you your one free pass.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Reese vs. Stevie’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
[When Lois pulls into the driveway with a car full of groceries, she is listening to an audio book, "A Dish Served Deadsly" ]
Man: [on tape] While Betty kept the fat man occupied, I ducked down the hallway to his office.
If I found his phone records, they would prove that he was the one who called the police station on the night of the murder.
[that night, Lois is still in the car listening to the tape as she eats the food she bought:]
Man: [on tape] All I knew was, the next person through that door would be the man who killed my partner. "Hello, McKendrick," I heard from behind me. I spun around, but standing there was...
Reese: [on tape] A stupid housewife who wouldn't let her son buy nunchuks even though they're totally safe.
Lois: Reese!
Quote from Lois
Lois: All right, Jamie. The doctor said there's no physical reason you can't talk, so that is exactly what you are going to do. Talk. He said the best way to get you started is for me to talk to you constantly about everything happening around you so that you live in a more verbal world. That means Mommy's going to narrate everything she's doing, like right now when she's going over here to make you a snack. Then it'll be time to do the laundry, and after that she gets to make dinner for the whole family. Who will wolf it down in ten seconds and leave her to do the dishes by herself before she gets to make the boys' lunches for school the next day. Then she'll get ready for bed after everybody else. And discover that the bathroom is a swampy, hairy mess, and Mommy gets to spend her last waking minutes with a sponge and a can of cleanser. Then it'll be time to wake up in the morning and she'll do it all over again. Day after day, week after week, for the next 30 years until Mommy dies. And with Mommy's luck, even that won't be the end of it!
Quote from Abe
Abe: Ah. There you are. Stevie, you ran off without your backup inhaler.
Stevie: Thanks... Dad.
Abe: Did Stevie tell you his big news?
Malcolm: No. What's going on?
Abe: Stevie's been accepted as a research subject at the Norvet Biomedical Institute. Dr. Norvet himself picked him for the motor-neuropathy program.
Stevie: It's... nothing.
Abe: Nothing? Come on, Stevie. This is the most exciting thing that's happened to us since they put your stomach on the inside. Who knows? This Christmas might just be our first ski vacation.
Stevie: Dad.
Abe: Tomorrow after school we'll go look at snowboards.
Stevie: Dad.
Abe: I said just look.