Craig Quote #140
Craig: Malcolm! Malcolm! Did you hear the news? They fired Sam the stilt guy! Word is he puked into the sunroof of the boss's El Dorado. This is bad, Malcolm, really bad.
Malcolm: Bad? He's been coming to work drunk for 20 years.
Craig: I meant bad for me. This means they're paying attention! Sam was my canary. Now my work has to speak for itself!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Stilts’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: [to Malcolm] You really got to stop being such a snob. There's pride in doing anything well. I'd rather you were the best toilet scrubber in the world than a slapdash Supreme Court justice. And how about showing me a little bit gratitude? There's nothing embarrassing about working at Lucky Aide.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Oh, Dewey. I need your help. You're always skulking around, listening in on everyone's conversations. Do you have any dirt on your mom? I need something really big and awful. I did something bad, so I have to find something that she did bad, then I can confess what I did, and it won't seem like such a big deal.
Dewey: Sorry, Dad, but I don't just stash away information...
Hal: Stash? You found the stash? You and me partners. We cut everyone else out.
Dewey: No! No! I didn't find the stash!
Hal: Okay, okay. Are you sure she's not having an affair? Because that would be perfect.
Dewey: Sorry, Dad. I think she loves you.
Hal: Damn! If I can't do the "You did bad, I did bad" thing, then I gotta do the "I did bad, you'll get a big, expensive present" thing. Never get married, Dewey. If you want kids, get your eggs from the state.
Quote from Lois
Malcolm: Mom, what are you doing? I was in the middle of a game!
Lois: Do you want to explain why I found circled want ads sticking out of your backpack?!
Malcolm: Yes, I do.
Lois: I'm not interested! You are not finding another job!
Malcolm: Huh?
Lois: No! You are not getting a job away from my constant supervision, and that's it. I'm not going to risk your future by giving you even a second of freedom! This family has too much invested in you. Oh, cheer up. Once I find a proper wife for you, you'll have your precious space.