Lois: Good morning, Malcolm. There's money on the counter for your yearbook.
Malcolm: I don't want to buy a yearbook. I don't want anything that will remind me I ever went to that stupid school.
Reese: How can you say that? Being part of a group is important. Don't you care about loyalty? I think loyalty is the most important thing there is.
Lois: Well, I'm glad at least one of my sons knows something about that.
[Reese sees the mail man walking down the drive:]
Reese: [shouts through the window] Hey! What are you doing here?! This isn't your house! You don't live here! We live here! This is our house! What do you want?! Huh?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?!

Malcolm: Reese, where have you been all night?
Reese: I started chasing these dogs, and it turned out they were really cool. So we went to the park, and then we found a tennis ball. And I took it from Toffee, and then Toffee took it from me and gave it to Rusty. And then we drank some water. And then we turned over some trash cans. Then Lucky did this hilarious thing where he rubs his butt on the ground. I can't do it. So then we chased this cat that was all like, "Agh!" Stupid cat. Then we stopped at the 7-Eleven, and I went inside and had a Coke while they had some burritos out of the Dumpster. Spike ate his twice.
Malcolm: Wait a minute. You spent the night in a dog pack?
Reese: Yeah. So then there were these squirrels who were like, "We're up in a tree, you'll never get us."
Malcolm: You're talking about them like they're friends. They're just animals.
Reese: Well, I'm sorry that we're not like your friends, sitting around all intellectual, discussing multiplication.
Malcolm: You can't get into bed like that. You stink.
Reese: Hey, I got checked out pretty thoroughly in that department, and I didn't hear any complaints.

Hal: A motivation seminar. For the whole weekend! Can you believe this? Like I need motivation.
Lois: And they just told you about it today?
Hal: They claim it was in some "memo" they sent me three months ago. So now, suddenly my job includes weekend seminars and memo-reading.
Lois: Can they really force you to go?
Hal: Lois, they can make you do anything. Once you sign up for a job in this country, you give away the whole kit and kaboodle. Our weekends, our house, our kids... we don't own any of it.
Lois: Okay, everybody, dinner.
Hal: This is all just an exercise to remind the little man who's boss. They're just trying to motivate me to keep me in my place, to kill any dreams I might have of ever digging my way out... Oh, my God, it starts at 9:00?