Lois Quote #595
Quote from Lois in Motivational Speaker
Lois: Damn. Pack of dogs is in the garbage again. Go away. [throws mug out the window] Scat. You know why they like our trash is Jamie's dirty diapers. If he digested his food a little better, there wouldn't be so much for them to eat in there. [serves food] Filthy, disgusting animals.
Reese: You know, Mom, if you double-bagged the trash, the dogs might not be able to smell it.
Malcolm: [to camera] Uh-oh. Reese just made the classic mistake of expressing an interest in something that Mom said.
Lois: All right, Reese, since you're so full of good ideas, why don't you be in charge of cleaning up the garbage from now on.
Malcolm: [to camera] If he just shuts up now, it might not get any worse.
Reese: I don't see why it matters if some dogs dump a little garbage on our lawn. The backyard's a mess already.
Malcolm: [to camera] Oh, this is hard to watch.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Motivational Speaker’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
Lois: Good morning, Malcolm. There's money on the counter for your yearbook.
Malcolm: I don't want to buy a yearbook. I don't want anything that will remind me I ever went to that stupid school.
Reese: How can you say that? Being part of a group is important. Don't you care about loyalty? I think loyalty is the most important thing there is.
Lois: Well, I'm glad at least one of my sons knows something about that.
[Reese sees the mail man walking down the drive:]
Reese: [shouts through the window] Hey! What are you doing here?! This isn't your house! You don't live here! We live here! This is our house! What do you want?! Huh?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?!
Quote from Reese
Malcolm: Reese, where have you been all night?
Reese: I started chasing these dogs, and it turned out they were really cool. So we went to the park, and then we found a tennis ball. And I took it from Toffee, and then Toffee took it from me and gave it to Rusty. And then we drank some water. And then we turned over some trash cans. Then Lucky did this hilarious thing where he rubs his butt on the ground. I can't do it. So then we chased this cat that was all like, "Agh!" Stupid cat. Then we stopped at the 7-Eleven, and I went inside and had a Coke while they had some burritos out of the Dumpster. Spike ate his twice.
Malcolm: Wait a minute. You spent the night in a dog pack?
Reese: Yeah. So then there were these squirrels who were like, "We're up in a tree, you'll never get us."
Malcolm: You're talking about them like they're friends. They're just animals.
Reese: Well, I'm sorry that we're not like your friends, sitting around all intellectual, discussing multiplication.
Malcolm: You can't get into bed like that. You stink.
Reese: Hey, I got checked out pretty thoroughly in that department, and I didn't hear any complaints.
Quote from Hal
Hal: A motivation seminar. For the whole weekend! Can you believe this? Like I need motivation.
Lois: And they just told you about it today?
Hal: They claim it was in some "memo" they sent me three months ago. So now, suddenly my job includes weekend seminars and memo-reading.
Lois: Can they really force you to go?
Hal: Lois, they can make you do anything. Once you sign up for a job in this country, you give away the whole kit and kaboodle. Our weekends, our house, our kids... we don't own any of it.
Lois: Okay, everybody, dinner.
Hal: This is all just an exercise to remind the little man who's boss. They're just trying to motivate me to keep me in my place, to kill any dreams I might have of ever digging my way out... Oh, my God, it starts at 9:00?