Lois Quote #595

Quote from Lois in Motivational Speaker

Lois: Damn. Pack of dogs is in the garbage again. Go away. [throws mug out the window] Scat. You know why they like our trash is Jamie's dirty diapers. If he digested his food a little better, there wouldn't be so much for them to eat in there. [serves food] Filthy, disgusting animals.
Reese: You know, Mom, if you double-bagged the trash, the dogs might not be able to smell it.
Malcolm: [to camera] Uh-oh. Reese just made the classic mistake of expressing an interest in something that Mom said.
Lois: All right, Reese, since you're so full of good ideas, why don't you be in charge of cleaning up the garbage from now on.
Malcolm: [to camera] If he just shuts up now, it might not get any worse.
Reese: I don't see why it matters if some dogs dump a little garbage on our lawn. The backyard's a mess already.
Malcolm: [to camera] Oh, this is hard to watch.


 ‘Motivational Speaker’ Quotes

Quote from Reese

Lois: Good morning, Malcolm. There's money on the counter for your yearbook.
Malcolm: I don't want to buy a yearbook. I don't want anything that will remind me I ever went to that stupid school.
Reese: How can you say that? Being part of a group is important. Don't you care about loyalty? I think loyalty is the most important thing there is.
Lois: Well, I'm glad at least one of my sons knows something about that.
[Reese sees the mail man walking down the drive:]
Reese: [shouts through the window] Hey! What are you doing here?! This isn't your house! You don't live here! We live here! This is our house! What do you want?! Huh?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! What?!

Quote from Hal

Hal: A motivation seminar. For the whole weekend! Can you believe this? Like I need motivation.
Lois: And they just told you about it today?
Hal: They claim it was in some "memo" they sent me three months ago. So now, suddenly my job includes weekend seminars and memo-reading.
Lois: Can they really force you to go?
Hal: Lois, they can make you do anything. Once you sign up for a job in this country, you give away the whole kit and kaboodle. Our weekends, our house, our kids... we don't own any of it.
Lois: Okay, everybody, dinner.
Hal: This is all just an exercise to remind the little man who's boss. They're just trying to motivate me to keep me in my place, to kill any dreams I might have of ever digging my way out... Oh, my God, it starts at 9:00?

 Lois Quotes

Quote from Graduation

Lois: That doesn't matter. What does matter is you'll be the only person in that position who will ever give a crap about people like us. We've been getting the short end of the stick for thousands of years, and I, for one, am sick of it. Now, you are going to be president, mister, and that's the end of it.
Malcolm: Did it ever occur to you that I could have taken this job, gotten really rich and then bought my way into being president?
Lois: Of course it did. We decided against it.
Malcolm: What?!
Lois: Because then you wouldn't be a good president. You wouldn't have suffered enough.
Malcolm: I've been suffering all my life.
Lois: I'm sorry, it's not enough. You know what it's like to be poor, and you know what it's like to work hard. Now you're going to learn what it's like to sweep floors and bust your ass and accomplish twice as much as all the kids around you. And it won't mean anything because they will still look down on you. And you will want so much for them to like you, and they just won't. And it'll break your heart. And that'll make your heart bigger and open your eyes and finally you will realize that there's more to life than proving you're the smartest person in the world. I'm sorry, Malcolm, but you don't get the easy path. You don't get to just have fun and be rich and live the life of luxury.
Hal: That's Dewey.
Dewey: Really?
Malcolm: This is unbelievable. You actually expect me to be president. No, no, I'm sorry. You expect me to be one of the greatest presidents in the history of the United States.
Lois: You look me in the eye and you tell me you can't do it.

Quote from Graduation

Malcolm: You know what? I'm glad! This is appropriate. Now my life looks exactly how I feel. How could you screw me over like that?
Lois: Because you were going to take that job, and we are not going to let you throw your life away.
Malcolm: How is being rich throwing my life away?!
Lois: Because it's not the life you're supposed to have! The life you're supposed to have is you go to Harvard, and you earn every fellowship and internship they have. You graduate first in your class, and you start working in public service, either district attorney or running some foundation, and then you become governor of a mid-sized state, and then you become president.
Malcolm: What?!
Lois: Of the United States.
Malcolm: Dad?
Hal: I'm sorry, son. It's true.
Francis: I thought you knew.
Hal: Our expectations started out much smaller, but you just kept upping the ante.