Lois Quote #562
Quote from Lois in Tiki Lounge
Hal: Good dinner, honey.
Lois: Thanks. I'm stunned I had time to cook anything. Traffic was horrible, and then on the way to the market I hit a possum.
Hal: You're kidding.
Lois: It was just awful. It laid there moaning and dying. I didn't know what to do. So I finally called Animal Services. I waited and waited, nobody ever came. I was so upset. I never did have time to get to the store.
Malcolm: If you never made it to the store, then what are we eating?
Lois: Something from the freezer. Finish it.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Tiki Lounge’ Quotes
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Malcolm: You wanted to see me, Mr. Herkabe?
Mr. Herkabe: Malcolm, one of the many perks of working in the glamorous field of public education is the constant opportunity to suddenly increase your workload. It's as big a morale booster as the constant chiseling of gum from one's shoes...
Malcolm: You know, you can come right out and tell me how you're screwing me over. You don't have to make a speech every time.
Mr. Herkabe: Be patient.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: Yesterday I was informed that all faculty members must serve as advisors to at least one of the school's many clubs and organizations. I've been assigned the North High Boosters.
Malcolm: And you're telling me because...?
Mr. Herkabe: It's coming. The Boosters are only nine members, which makes it a group. We need ten for it to be a club. And if it isn't a club, I don't get my $200 advisor fee.
Malcolm: You want me to join?
Mr. Herkabe: I love it when a victim fully grasps the horror. You have proved a worthy patsy.
Malcolm: I don't want to be in your stupid club.
Mr. Herkabe: It's not a club until you've joined. Keep up.
Malcolm: Okay, what's the blackmail?
Mr. Herkabe: [sighs] Why must you rush these things? As Vice Principal, I write the college recommendations. I've written two for you. One has your complete academic record. The other has your complete academic record and a short paragraph about your personality.
Malcolm: That's not fair!
Mr. Herkabe: The meeting starts at 3:15 tomorrow. Come early if you want spirit cookies.
Quote from Malcolm
Mr. Herkabe: They don't like you any more than you like them. They think you're too lazy and selfish to be Booster material.
Malcolm: You're lying.
Mr. Herkabe: Oh, my God, you care.
Malcolm: No, I don't. They're a bunch of hypocrites pretending to be into charity just to have an excuse to throw parties and socialize and be surrounded by balloons.
Mr. Herkabe: Is this going to devolve into you shambling around the quad come next June desperate for someone to sign your yearbook?
Malcolm: Calling me selfish and lazy? I could raise ten times the money those idiots ever could!
Mr. Herkabe: Please. You're not seriously thinking of "showing them a thing or two," are you?
Malcolm: Shut up!