Reese Quote #490
Quote from Reese in Living Will
Reese: Craig, I'd like to welcome you to the first day of your new, more vicious life. I give you the human body. For clarity, we've divided it into the three major theaters of operation. The head. The torso.
Craig: And what are those?
Reese: You know what those are. Now the first thing you need to know is that this is all about pride. Do you have pride, Craig?
Craig: Yes.
Reese: Okay, that is not the answer I was looking for. You show me a man with pride, and I'll show you a man with limited options. Let's say that this is your opponent, and he's coming after you. "Hey, man, we can work this out. I didn't know she was your girl." [sticks fingers in the boiled egg "eyes"] See? Now he's blind, and you have the time to really get creative. Personally, I like to leave at least one sense intact so he knows what's happening to him. [eats egg]
Craig: I knew I came to the right place.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Living Will’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: Wow, I remember this: this is Reese's fifth birthday.
Hal: This must be Christmas the same year.
Lois: Oh, he grew up so fast. [holds up X-ray]
Hal: He sure did. Here's Malcolm's first day at school.
Lois: Oh. Remember when we lost Dewey at the flea market.
Hal: Still keeps great time.
Lois: You want to go through the arrest reports?
Hal: I'll pour some more wine.
Quote from Hal
Lois: Hal, do you want Raisin Bran or oatmeal?
Hal: Oatmeal. No, wait, Raisin Bran. No, no oatmeal. Oh, but Raisin Bran's got that crunch. And those raisins. But sometimes you get too many raisins. You don't have that problem with oatmeal. Oh, but oatmeal can be lumpy. But sometimes good lumpy. But, not usually. So definitely it's going to be Raisin Bran... No, eggs!
Lois: You're having Raisin Bran.
Hal: Oh, God, thank you.
Quote from Reese
Craig: Hey, boys, what do you say the four of us have a giant tickle party?! [closes door] Okay, that was just a cover I didn't want to alarm your parents.
Malcolm: What's going on?
Craig: I need you guys to teach me how to fight. There's this jerk who's always picking on me, and I'm sick of it.
Reese: Why are you asking us?
Craig: Because this guy's stronger and faster than me. The only chance I've got is if I fight dirty. And let's face it, your family is legendary for that.
Malcolm: Well, people exaggerate...
Craig: Please, you've got to teach me everything you know.
Reese: I don't think that's such a great idea. I mean, I teach you some tricks, you teach them to someone else, he teaches them to another guy and sooner or later, I'm in a fair fight.