Craig Quote #123
Quote from Craig in Malcolm's Car
Craig: Oh, Lois, thank God. Fred asked me to scrub out the Dumpsters tonight, but Paula wants to work on her short iron, so I had to schedule an emergency lesson with the golf pro. The guy charges, like, 90 bucks an hour. It's really eating away at my savings, but I guess I have no one to blame but myself, and, oh, my God, you know about the affair. Damn it! Damn it! You do know, right?
Lois: Yes, I know.
Craig: Damn it!
Lois: Craig, how could you lie to me after all I've done for you? I let you sleep on our floor when you though your cat's ghost was trying to kill you. I settled that feud between you and the Girl Scout troop.
Craig: They started it.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Malcolm's Car’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: Do you believe this?
Hal: What happened?
Lois: I was half way through my haircut when Troy casually mentioned that his price had gone up from $21 to $28. And he thought I would just sit there and take it. Well, I showed him, Hal. I got up and I walked right out of there. This is extortion, pure and simple.
Quote from Reese
Reese: You are going to be so proud of me.
Malcolm: Why?
Reese: I spent the last five nights in a chat room reeling in this creep named Heinrich. I got his address and showed up at his house with a printed transcript of our conversations. He calls me "Sugarbuns" 15 times on nine separate occasions.
Malcolm: Reese.
Reese: So the guy starts crying, "What about my wife? What about my kids? I'll do anything." Entrapment. It's not just for police anymore.
Malcolm: Why do I care about this?
Reese: The guy works at the racetrack. He's going to make bets for us on the horses we pick. Well, the horses you pick. This is tomorrow's racing form. You'll pick the winners and I'll place the bets, we split the winnings 50-50, like brothers.
Malcolm: That's kind of nice.
Reese: Yeah. I got to keep this guy on his toes. Time to leave a suspicious message on his answering machine.
Malcolm: [to camera] Wow, blackmailing a pervert to facilitate underage gambling. How could this not work out?
Quote from Malcolm
Lois: What in the?
Malcolm: This is my new car. I bought it. Now, I know what you're thinking, but please just give me 45 seconds to explain why this is the perfect car for me and how it was such and insanely great deal that I had no choice but to buy it.
Dewey: Hey, there's some black gooey stuff leaking out of it.
Malcolm: I know it looks fast and dangerous, but that's a good thing. Cops will have their eye on my car, so I'll be extra motivated to drive safe and slow. It didn't cost much, so I'll have enough to pay for the first year's insurance. Think of all the money you'll save from less wear and tear on your car, since I won't have to drive it anymore.
Dewey: I can put my finger through the metal.
Malcolm: Dewey, get out of there! I'll be able to work extra shifts since I won't have to ride in with you, which means I'll be bringing more money into the house. Oh, and I love it. I know you don't care, but it just needed to be said.