Lois: Hope you boys don't think you're going anywhere.
Malcolm: Don't worry. Until everyone who was at that party dies of old age, we have no reason to ever go out.

Hal: Hey, how are you feeling?
Lois: Well, it's been three days. Not so much as a thank you.
Hal: No, I meant the incision.
Lois: Oh. I'm still pretty sore.
Hal: Yeah, well, Susan may not admit it, but she's grateful. And if it's any consolation, she took the kidney. You won.
Lois: Hal, it was never about that. Nobody won. [smiles]

Lois: Susan, I've been thinking about the gift you gave Jamie.
Susan: I know, Lois, and you don't have to worry about it. I brought gifts for the other boys, too.
Reese: Yes! Sitting here looking interested finally pays off.

Lois: Boys, Aunt Susan will be here any minute. I thought I told you to clean up the kitchen.
Hal: You heard your mother, do it again.
Lois: No, no, no. Wait. No one's cleaning up. If Susan can't accept how we live, she can just get back on her high horse and ride off to that sterile tomb she calls a home.

Dewey: Why is Mom always so weird about Aunt Susan?
Reese: Dad used to be Aunt Susan's boyfriend... until Mom stole him.
Malcolm: But we don't know anything about it. We also think Francis is a year younger than he really is.
Dewey: Got it.

Lois: There she is.
Malcolm: Sweet. She brought the Mustang!
Reese: Oh, man.
Lois: Well, when you hang on to every penny until it screams bloody murder, you can afford nice things. I wish your father and I were better about that instead of frittering our money away on all the little extras for you boys.

Susan: Oh, and I brought a gift for Jamie.
Lois: Wow. Susan, thank you. After six months of shopping, this must be quite a card.
Susan: Oh, it's not the card, it's what's inside. It's a $5,000 savings bond.
Lois: Well, I don't know what to say.
Susan: It's going to mature right around the time he's ready to go off to college. Someone should be thinking of that.