Lloyd: So my doctor said I only have to wear these special shoes for two more years. Then I'm down to nights and weekends. Great Scott! You got a letter from Martindale Academy.
Malcolm: What's Martindale Academy?
Lloyd: It's the greatest, most advanced private school in existence. Do you know how many millions they've spent to make sure you've never heard about it?
Malcolm: It says I've been accepted. I didn't even apply.
Lloyd: No one applies. They find you. This is unbelievable. Malcolm, you're going to the show. You're set for life! Wait, what am I thinking? You can't go. You're too poor. You're like the poorest guy I know. Oh, I'm such a jerk! Here I am, describing this nirvana you'll never be able to experience. Holding out this hope of power and success to a guy in a three-dollar shirt. I mean, look at this hovel!
Malcolm: Lloyd, you have to stop talking.
Lloyd: It's okay to cry, Malcolm. Tears are free.

Lloyd: Excuse me, can somebody help me find Malcolm's biochem notes? I need them to do my assignment.
Lois: Get out of here, Lloyd! I'm in labor! I'm about to give birth!
Lloyd: It's a really important assignment.

Lois: [loud hammering] What are you doing?
Francis: Building calms me down, okay? We're all trying to find ways to cope with this.
Lois: Yes, Francis, I'm trying to cope with this pregnancy by giving birth!
Lloyd: Excuse me. I'm working quietly. I'd appreciate it if you could work quietly, too.

Lloyd: Listen, you idiot. The optics on the Newtonian reflector don't even approach a Schmidt-Cassegrain. It's a nice century. Why don't you join it?
Dabney: Shrine burn center; admitting Kyle.
Stevie: Ladies... the stars?
Lloyd: He's right. Why squabble when we have the Leonids?

Caroline: Your dentist appointment, Lloyd?
Lloyd: My teeth feel fine today, Caroline. I like myself. [sobs] Oh, who am I kidding?

Lloyd: Um, Malcolm... I wanted you to know how proud I am of you. Admitting you needed help is the hardest step.
Malcolm: No, keeping up with all the new cognitive and behavioral therapies is the hardest step, Lloyd.
Lloyd: My self-worth is still skyrocketing.

Lloyd: We, uh... here's the VCR you ordered.
Mr. Woodward: I didn't order a VCR.
Lloyd: Yes, you did! Feel free to call and verify. I know the extension number. There's someone there right now.
Mr. Woodward: That won't be...
Dabney: Or you can take a look at this A/V equipment schedule. Your name and class hour's right here on page seven in nonstudent handwriting.
[Malcolm swaps Reese's paper from inside the TV cart]
Mr. Woodward: All right. Go ahead and leave it. [Reese nods]
Lloyd: Okay.
Dabney: No, no, you said you didn't order a cart so you're not going to get one.
Lloyd: We'll just be leaving and pushing this out the door. Ah, here it is!

Malcolm: Don't worry about it. The only way that stupid board can have an effect on us is if we let it. Those numbers mean nothing.
Stevie: What are... you doing?
Kevin: Nothing!
Lloyd: You were studying?
Kevin: No, I wasn't. My book just fell open at this page.
Dabney: [chuckles] You know... I'm really not hungry.
Lloyd: I think I left my recess stuff in my locker. [Krelboynes scatter]

Lloyd: Hi, is Malcolm home?
Piama: No, and we're in-
Lloyd: I just need to use his notes for my biochem homework.
Piama: This really isn't a good time.
Ida: You don't say hello to your own grandmother?
Lloyd: I'm not Malcolm. We've been through this before.