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‘Krelboyne Picnic’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Malcolm in the Middle: Krelboyne Picnic

108. Krelboyne Picnic

Aired March 12, 2000

Malcolm doesn't want to go to the Krelboyne picnic, especially since his whole family will be joining him.

Quote from Reese

Lois: I don't understand why you don't want to go to this picnic, Malcolm. I think it sounds like fun.
Hal: Yeah, sitting on the grass, eating barbecue.
Malcolm: It's Krelboyne. It's not going to be on the grass because half the class is allergic. And don't expect any meat either, because they all voted not to serve anything that ever had a mother.
Dewey: Cousin Nancy doesn't have a mother.
Lois: That's right. She has two daddies.
Reese: Oh, man, two guys as your parents? That house has got to be a dude's paradise.

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Quote from Malcolm

Malcolm: Um... [microphone feedback] could somebody, please, show me some credit cards? [two men flash their cards] Okay. The numbers on them are: 3699 7412 6833 9140. And 3424 1804 1835 3668.
Man: He's right!
Malcolm: Okay. If you add the individual digits on each card you get 74 and 66. If you multiply those numbers, you get 4,884.
Dorene: How do we even know he's right?
Eraserhead: [holds calculator] Oh, he's right.
Malcolm: is 4,844 squared is 23,853,456. The square root of 4,884 is 69 and 885/1 ,000. The square root of that is eight and 3,597 /10,000.
Stevie: Factor it!
Malcolm: The factors are 23 2 and 73.
Lloyd: Multiply it by pi.
Malcolm: 26 and 261/1,000.
Dabney: Cube it!
Malcolm: 584 and 21 4/1 ,000.
Eraserhead: What's the arc tangent!
Malcolm: 89 and 9/10 degrees.
Lloyd: Natural log!
Malcolm: 6 and 3,699/10,000.
Alphonse: What's the reciprocal?
Malcolm: 17/10,000.
Eraserhead: In base eight!
Malcolm: 11,431.
Dabney: What's the capital of Iceland!
Malcolm: Reykjavik... but that's not math. [applause]

Quote from Hal

Hal: You know, there are a lot of proven health benefits to the vegetarian lifestyle. In fact, I've been seriously considering it myself. [eats sausage]

Quote from Francis

Francis: Well, this just sounds like a blast to me. Why do I have to go, again?
Lois: Because it's a family picnic, Francis, and you're a member of this family.
Francis: Oh, right, see, I just keep forgetting that, being forced to live a thousand miles away at military school and all.

Quote from Lloyd

Lloyd: Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the Nixon electromagnet.
[When Lloyd turns the magnet on, his head slams into the magnet as it attracts the metal braces on his teeth.]
Lloyd: [muffled sobbing] Turn it off!

Quote from Malcolm

Malcolm: [to camera] My special class is having a family day and, if that's not bad enough, it's on the weekend that Francis is home. I'm going to look like a total idiot in front of him.
Francis: [talking in his sleep] Pretty bunnies. Pretty bunnies.
Malcolm: Luckily, I've got a brilliant plan to get out of this.
[cut to Malcolm gagging with his head over the toilet bowl:]
Lois: Oh, poor baby.
Malcolm: Yeah, I'm sick.
Lois: No, you're grounded for pouring perfectly good vegetable soup in the toilet. And you owe me 49 cents. flushes toilet]

Quote from Hal

[As Lois and Hal are woken up by the sound of the kids fight in another room, Lois nudges Hal to get up and deal with them. Hal pretends to snore.]
Malcolm: [o.s.] Leave the squirrel alone and get the fire extinguisher. Reese, no! [crashing]
Dewey: [o.s.] Blood tastes funny.
Hal: [gets up] You better be naked when I get back.
Lois: Done.

Quote from Reese

Reese: I'm going to kick so much Krelboyne ass today it's not even funny.
Krelboynes: [all chant] Go, Malcolm! Go, Malcolm! Go, Malcolm!
Reese: [to himself] Easy. You got all afternoon.

Quote from Dabney

Dabney: [looks through microscope] Wait. Wait. Here it comes. Yes, there! I've arrested the cellular mitosis!
Caroline: Thank you, Dabney. [claps] That was riveting.

Quote from Dewey

Hal: What have I told you about raw meat, son?
Dewey: [chewing] I'm not.

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