Cynthia: Thank you again for inviting me.
Lois: Oh, you're welcome. If my son weren't such an unforgivably rude little pig, he would have invited you himself. [to Malcolm] You be nicer to her. She obviously has no friends at all.

Reese: Malcolm, would you ask your girlfriend to pass the potatoes? [Cynthia passes the potatoes] Malcolm, would you thank your girlfriend for me?

Hal: [answers phone] Hello.
Spangler: This is Commandant Spangler from the Marlin Academy.
Hal: Oh, yes.
Spangler: Sorry to disturb you. I'm just calling because we had an incident up here last weekend, and I've done a thorough investigation, and it appears your son Francis is a prime suspect.
Hal: Well, that's impossible because he was with me last weekend.
Spangler: He was?
Hal: Yes. Yes, we went fishing.
Spangler: You're sure?
Hal: Smallmouth bass. Boy, those babies'll fight you. Yeah, I got the fish to prove it. You know, I should send you some.
Spangler: No, that's quite all right.
Hal: No, I insist. Yeah, I got a freezer full of 'em.

Lois: Dewey, what are you doing?
Dewey: [scrubbing counter] I'm killing the germs. I hate germs. Germs are scary.
Lois: Don't forget the germs in the oven.

Cynthia: So, have you figured out how many words your phone number makes? Mine makes five: Three in English and two in Esperanto. Just kidding. [chuckles]
Malcolm: You know, if it's a joke you don't have to say "just kidding." It's either funny or it isn't.
Cynthia: You know, just because you're cute doesn't mean you can be rude. [walks off]
Malcolm: [to camera] That wasn't rude. That was... What's a...? Did she say I was cute?!

Lois: Dewey, we have got to talk. Honey, when I talked to you about germs, I was just trying to scare you. That was wrong. This isn't about germs. Sweetie, it's about growing up. The reason I had to take Domingo away from you is because you are too grown-up for a ratty, old stuffed animal that's falling apart.
[Dewey screams as he sees a bug crawl across the cabinet]
Lois: Dewey, you have got to stop this. It's a little bug. It never hurt anyone.
Dewey: But it has germs on it!
Lois: Okay, this is enough. [grabs the bug and eats it] See? Nothing happened to me. Okay? [Dewey nods] Okay. So take off the plastic and go eat your breakfast.
[Lois gags and wipes her tongue after Dewey walks out]

Hal: Do you think maybe Dewey's getting a little old for stuffed animals? Maybe we should start thinking about weaning him off Domingo.
Lois: I guess that part of his childhood is over. So sad. Our little baby is growing up. [to Dewey] Give me that. [yanks stuffed animal away from Dewey, leaving behind part of the ear he was chewing]

Malcolm: Hi. I'm Malcolm.
Cynthia: Cynthia.
Malcolm: So, you're new here.
Cynthia: Yeah... my dad wanted to get away from Manhattan, but I think the real reason is that my mom's remarriage hit him pretty hard and he thinks that a new environment would help. The truth is, nothing's been the same since my brother died in the boating accident. [chortles] Just kidding.
Malcolm: What?
Stevie: Get... a room. [Cynthia chortles]
Malcolm: Anyway, I'll see you later and I'm glad your brother's okay.
Cynthia: I don't have a brother.

Cynthia: So, why are you here so late?
Malcolm: I had to use the school computer. Why are you here so late?
Cynthia: I really liked what you said in class about the search for intelligent life in the universe.
Malcolm: And you waited out here to tell me that?
Cynthia: You know, I was thinking, why are we even bothering to send signals into deep space? If we do make contact with extraterrestrials, we'll probably just wind up doing their laundry. [chortles] Just kidding. So, what's it like having a brother?
Malcolm: I don't know. Well, I've got to go home now. Bye.
Cynthia: Bye. [follows Malcolm]

Lois: What's going on?
Malcolm: Some weird new girl from school actually followed me home.
Lois: Really? Is she cute? Hey, is this what that whole boxer shorts thing is all about?
Malcolm: Mom, please don't.