‘Graduation’
Season 7, Episode 22 - Aired May 14, 2006
When Malcolm is offered a lucrative job in software ahead of his graduation from high school, Lois puts her foot down and insists he is still going to Harvard. Reese is loving his new job as janitor at his old high school, until he learns they never keep the newbies for more than thirty days. Meanwhile, with Malcolm and Reese set to move out, the boys decide to destroy "the nuclear option".
Quote from Malcolm
Mr. Hodges: And now with the valedictory speech, please welcome Malcolm [audio feedback].
Malcolm: Like all of you, I'm praying for this speech to be over soon. [light laughter] Most of us have been dreaming of this day for years, the day we leave childhood and achieve independence. But even if we move thousands of miles away, there's no escape. Our families are coming with us. They'll be with us forever. In our habits, our gestures, and in the choices we make. So we'll never be set-free, we'll never be alone. As Paul McCartney once said...
Quote from Francis
[three months later:]
Francis: [on the phone] Mom, you can yell and scream all you want. It's not going to change me! I will look for a job when I am damn good and ready! You just can't stand that your son is still a free spirit! [hangs up]
Piama: Chicken casserole for dinner?
Francis: Mmm. Home at 5:00.
Quote from Malcolm
Lois: Scholarships, financial aid cover $26,000. Plus the Fleish Grant, the Hanelin Fellowship, the $220 scratcher your dad won.
Malcolm: [to camera] I got accepted into Harvard. We don't know how we're going to pay for it, but we've got to find a way. It's my dream school. It's 2,000 miles away from Mom.
Quote from Reese
Hal: What's that noise?
Reese: Nothing, Dad. [pats waste tank] Just a little hungry.
Lois: All right, Malcolm, I know you're angry. You might as well say what you have to now and get it out of your system.
[As a furious Malcolm goes to speak, the waste tank explodes]
Quote from Hal
Hal: I'm so sorry, Jamie. I didn't know I had you hanging upside down until that last layer of gunk came off.
Quote from Reese
[three months later:]
Craig: The five-settings heating pad! You listen to me, you really do! [timer beeps]
Reese: Someone's cake is ready.
Quote from Dewey
[three months later:]
Lois: [o.s.] Oh, my God! What kind of monster would do something like this? Oh, Hal, for God's sake, don't touch it!
Dewey: [to Jamie] Man, if Mom ever found out it was the two of us... Hey.