Hal: I'm not going to buy you a piano. You've never even had lessons.
Dewey: I don't need lessons. I already know how to play. I'm great. Look. [pretends to play the table]
Hal: That's very cute, Dewey, but we can't afford a piano. Do you know how close my company is to going out of business? They're selling our office furniture and forcing us to have desk buddies.
Dewey: Dad, you don't know me very well, but you couldn't have missed the fact that I'm having a horrible childhood. Now there's a chance for you to make it suck a little less.
Hal: I said no. End of discussion. Now you're just going to have to find some other way to amuse yourself.
[Dewey takes the remote control and slips it down his shirt as he walks away]