Malcolm: Stevie, what are you doing? I've seen you do wheelies up and down this ramp.
Electronic Voice: Why don't you find yourself another project? Lloyd looks happy. Why don't you destroy his family?
Malcolm: Stevie, I know what your mom did was horrible, but you've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get mad. That's what I would do if my mom walked out on me. Okay, not my mom. But the point is, you have every right to be angry.
Electronic Voice: You're right. That's exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks very much.
Malcolm: There you go.
Electronic Voice: This thing sucks at sarcasm.
Malcolm: Fine. "My mommy left me, and now I'm a helpless baby." Well, I'm not going to let you just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Think fast. [throws ball at Stevie] Come on, you're not that big of a wuss.
Electronic Voice: You are not in charge of how big a wuss I am.
Malcolm: I know you can use your arms. Catch it! [throws ball] Look at the helpless little boy in the wheelchair. Look at the little cripple. Are you going to cry? Are you going to cry, little cripple boy? [throws ball] Ooh, it's a baby in a wheelchair. [to camera] I might be going down a bad road here, but if I stop before I make my point, this could look kind of bad. [throws ball] "Wah, wah, I'm a little baby. I can't move my legs. Where's my mommy?"
Principal: [to two big jocks] Kick his ass.