Lois: Oh, for God's sake, Malcolm. [Malcolm groans] This is the last time I'm going to tell you. Get up right now!
Malcolm: [under covers] I'll get up when the world stops being a cruel joke, which is never!
Lois: Malcolm, you smell like a locker room. This has got to stop. You've wasted your entire summer lying in bed feeling sorry for yourself. Your father thinks we sent you away to camp.
Malcolm: You're right. I'm a pathetic loser.
Lois: [sighs] Honey, this is just a phase. Every teenager goes through it. I did, your father did. Francis cried in the shower every day for six months. Reese wouldn't get out of the dryer. It's awkward and it's painful and you think it's never going to end. Now get out of bed! We're going to the zoo.
Malcolm: Why are we going to go stare at a bunch of pathetic, caged animals and fat, suburban yahoos pointing and laughing at them?
Lois: Because I have a coupon.