Reese: Every girlfriend you ever had left you crying like a baby!
Malcolm: What?!
Reese: Oh, who's Mr. Big Shot now? I'm a joke with the girls, huh? Well, what's worse, being a joke or a crybaby?
Malcolm: [scoffs] I wasn't crying that hard!
Stevie: You wet... your pants.
Malcolm: Oh, like you've ever even been with a girl!
Stevie: I have... a note... from my doctor!
Reese: I could get a note from my doctor if I wanted to.
Malcolm: That doesn't even make sense!