Lois: Hal, you're making too much of this.
Hal: No, I am not! If I've learned one thing, you have to make a good first impression. It sets the tone for the entire relationship.
[flashback:]
Man: Hal, this is your new supervisor, Miss Plum.
Miss Plum: It's great to meet you, Hal. I'm really look forward to working with you.
Hal: Same here. [singsong] Oh, and what do we have here? [pats her belly]
Miss Plum: [singsong] My big, fat sto-mach.
[flashback:]
Man: Now, I'd like you to meet your staff, but I'm not quite sure where everyone went.
[Hal's colleagues laughs as he sits bare-cheeked on the photocopier]
[flashback:]
Hal: It is great to meet you, Mr. Jacobson. I just want you to know I'm gonna do a terrific job for you.
Mr. Jacobson: Well, that's great, Hal. I'm sure you are. Have you met my daughter and son-in-law?
Hal: No, I haven't.
Mr. Jacobson: Kelly? Steve? I want you to meet somebody.
Hal: [runs over] Hi. I'm Hal.
Kelly: Hi. So nice to-
[When Hal trips as he reaches the buffet table, he grabs Kelly's necklace, pulling her down onto the food. She crashes to the floor.]
Kelly: [o.s.] Oh, my God! There's a toothpick in my eye!
Steve: She's gushing blood! For God's sake, someone put a tourniquet on her neck!
Kelly: [o.s.] I'm outside of my body. I can see a light. Grandma? Is that you?
Steve: You son of a bitch, I'm going to chew off your face, spit it out and dance on it! I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna drag your carcass through the street. She's got a toothpick in her eye!
[present:]
Hal: It's like a chess game, Lois. Every subtle move is vital.