Hal: You've been stealing money from the church?!
Malcolm: And maybe some merchandise.
Hal: [gasps] You boys, you've been taking stereos, toys... Is that cheese? Oh. [flails] I need to sit. [gasps] Oh, my God!
Malcolm: Dewey, get a washcloth!
Hal: My boys are thiefs!
Reese: Here you go, Dad. [puts an oxygen mask in Hal's mouth] Nice and even.
Hal: You stole air?! What is wrong with you boys? Do you ever stop and think of the consequences of anything that you do?! Do you realize the shame you're going to bring on our entire family? Do you?!
Reese: Forget that, what's Mom gonna say?!