Malcolm: I quit this stupid system. The only reason I'm being punished like this is because I agreed to be punished like this. And I'm not going to agree anymore. This isn't parenting. This is just sadism.
Lois: Oh, you think I enjoy this?
Malcolm: Yes, I do. And I am way too old for this. We are going to find some other way of dealing with each other. We are going to change the rules. What were you planning to do? Take away my TV when I'm married? Give me a time-out when I'm 30? [Lois glares at Malcolm] What? Am I supposed to be scared? What are you going to do, spank me?
Lois: Okay. [grabs Malcolm's hand]
Malcolm: Mom, what are you doing? Mom, cut it out. I don't know what you think you're doing. [to camera] How did she get so strong?
[Lois lays Malcolm over her legs and raises her arm. As she swings her hand down to spank Malcolm, her hand stops and then gives Malcolm a gentle pat. The crowd gasp anyway. The boy drops Malcolm's shoe.]
Lois: When I can't do this, we'll change the rules.