Meghan: So, our school needs a kid about your age to be in our school play. It'll be a lot of fun. The play is by a guy named William Shakespeare. He was a writer way back in the olden times.
Dabney: He was a syphilitic drunk fronting for the 14th Earl of Oxford.
Lloyd: Why can't you leave the Bard alone? So he didn't have the benefit of higher education. How many PhDs have written King Lear?