[Lois is changing the channel as she and Malcolm lay in bed:]
Malcolm: No. No. No. No. God, no. No. No.
Lois: We're staying.
Malcolm: You said we both have to agree on something or we won't watch it.
Lois: When you own your own house, you can make a rule and break it.
Malcolm: That's not fair.
[As Malcolm tries to wrestle the remote away from Lois, it falls to the floor]
Man: [on TV] Look at this boring leather jacket. Now look at the same leather jacket covered in brilliant scratch-resistant rhinestones.
Lois: Oh, God. Get the remote.
Malcolm: It's on your side.
Lois: Fine, you want to watch the shopping channel all night, that's what we'll watch.
Man: [on TV] Before now, this many rhinestones would have taken hours, even days to apply. But now there's the Pizzazzler! It'll change your life.
Malcolm: See? That's what we need.
Lois: Amen, we've been screwing around with medicine and bed rest when all we needed were some shiny beads.
Man: [on TV] Quick, easy, fun and so simple to use. Do you think we could pizzazzle this thick wool peacoat?
Malcolm: I don't think they can.
Lois: Impossible.
Man: [on TV] Pizzazz-yes!
Malcolm: Wow, I didn't see that coming.
Man: Works on denim, satin, leather, pleather...
Lois: Look at that oven mitt.
Malcolm: Oh, come on, it's got nothing on that wallet.