Dewey: He's gonna finish the whole thing! Call 911!
Hal: Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved? God, if only your grandmother wasn't so damned tasty.
Dewey: Now there's no way to feel better. Now I have to feel bad forever.
Hal: Oh, Dewey. Maybe you can try and think about it this way. Your grandmother... She is the most horrible woman who ever lived, but even she understands the difference between a life that's been lived and a life with potential. You want to pay her back? Live up to that potential. And if you think about it, you might have done her a big favor. Let's face it. Saving your life is her only chance of getting into heaven. Which isn't going to make you that popular in heaven, but we'll deal with that later.
Dewey: Okay. Hey, Dad? Is it okay if we don't keep the dog?
Hal: Yeah, that sounds fair.