Malcolm: [on the phone] Hello, Francis. I have a problem. I need your advice.
Francis: Trust me, pal, whatever you're going through is not half as bad as what I'm facing.
Malcolm: I'm thinking of asking Dad for skating lessons.
Francis: [inhales sharply]
Malcolm: Why does everyone do that? What does he do?
Francis: Look, if I told you, you'd just freak out. But if you think you're ready, my advice is to get it over with quickly. It's like pulling a giant Band-Aid off your crotch.
Malcolm: I'm going to have a Band-Aid on my crotch?