Male TSA Agent: Ma'am, step over here, please.
Lois: [sighs] I know what it is. It's the underwire on my bra. It always sets these things off.
Male TSA Agent: You seem to have something under your shirt.
Lois: Yes, as I said, I have a bra on under my shirt, and there is an underwire in my bra.
Male TSA Agent: [over radio] Code 25.
Lois: I can't believe this is the first underwire to come through this place. Surely you people have encountered bras before. This is punishment for what I said about the first-class line, isn't it?
Female TSA Agent: Ma'am, I need to touch your breasts.
Lois: You need to touch my what?!
Female TSA Agent: I'm required to probe with the back of my hand. If you like, you can request up to two female witnesses.
Lois: Let me understand this. Because I made a comment about first class, I am being singled out for a public feel-up?
Dewey: Oh for God's sake, Mom, just let her touch your boobs!
Male TSA Agent: The kid makes a lot of sense, ma'am. Now, do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?