Lois: I do all this and you repay me by making me drag around fifty-pound sacks of dog food so you can sleep with the boss's wife. That's inexcusable!
Craig: I didn't plan this. It just happened. One night after inventory, we stopped in the parking lot to talk. I bent down to pick up her keys, the next thing I know, she's got me handcuffed in a shower in a motel out by the airport. She's crazy, Lois. But she makes me crazy, too.
Lois: Craig.
Craig: I'm not kidding. There is a dark, scary place inside of me that I didn't even know was there, but Paula knew it was there, and every night she takes me to that scary place and shows me some new, terrible, delicious corner of it. You're not going to rat on me, are you?
Lois: No, but you have to end this. Today!
Craig: I can't, Lois. I'm addicted. I don't even know who I am anymore! I know I've let you down, but I want to thank you for helping me anyway.
Lois: Craig, I never said I-
Craig: If that homeless guy is still in the Dumpster, just let him drink from the hose. He'll leave you alone.