‘Block Party’
Season 5, Episode 8 - Aired January 4, 2004
When the family return home early from their annual vacation, they discover the neighborhood is having a block party and has done for the last five years. Malcolm can't understand how his family are okay with everyone hating them. Hal and Lois enter a sausage eating contest. Reese gives the neighborhood kids the chance of revenge. Meanwhile, Otto buys a machine to get a prized bull's "seed".
Quote from Hal
Ed: It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood as we begin our fifth annual Stavis Brothers kielbasa eating contest.
Hal: I try to line them up like one continuous dog. It's the space between kielbasas that tells your body it's full.
Ed: With us this year we have our old friends, Louie... [applause] Gerry... [applause] Jackson... [applause] Lois and Hal... [silence] ...and last year's champion, Big Tony. [applause]
Quote from Lois
Ed: Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've lost Gerry and Jackson. Louie's put away six. But he has a long way to go to catch up with Hal and Big Tony, who've eaten nine apiece. Oh, just a minute. Lois has eaten nine, too.
Hal: [mouth full] You're magnificent.
Ed: And we just lost Louie. Looks like it's down to three.
Man: Unbelievable.
Woman: What is it?
Man: Hal and Lois are matching Big Tony dog for dog.
Ed: Oh, wait a minute. Is this the end of the road for Lois?
Lois: [mouth full] Hmm? No, I just want more sauerkraut.
Quote from Malcolm
Ed: It's been quite a day in competitive sausage eating. I think both Hal and Lois are approaching the 21 mark. It's an amazing spectacle. Two great competitors pushing each other to greater and greater heights.
Malcolm: What's going on? [to camera] Oh, my God! They're cheering for my family. I mean, it's for a totally lame and ridiculous reason, but they're cheering.
Quote from Malcolm
Hal: Honey, there's no line for the giant slide.
Lois: Oh, that's okay, dear. I'm just going to lie down here on the pavement.
Hal: Okay.
Malcolm: [to camera] Well, I guess Mom was right. We were serving a purpose in the neighborhood all these years.
Dewey: Hey, Reese, want to help me fill up the moon bounce with this?
Reese: Nah. I'm going to go put dogs on the Ferris wheel.